Rated NFX. This episode is kid-tested, Judy Amster approved. Temper your lust and your grains as we Jockey for Your Love discussing sexy mascots, drainage channels and masturbation malady cures (citation needed). We ask "Will it Flake?" as we warn against winking at your grocers and inflation.
Funny jungle land moving pictures booklet
How corn flakes are made: YouTube video from Discovery UK
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Molly 0:00
Hi I'm Matthew and I'm Molly.
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:06
And this is spilled milk the show where we cook something delicious. Eat it all and you can't have any.
Molly 0:10
Today we are talking about corn based breakfast cereals.
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:15
Definitely the easiest way we could express that. Yes. Did
Molly 0:20
somebody suggest this episode? How did we get this?
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:23
I don't remember I think it's possible teenager the show December suggested it if you if you a listener, actually were responsible for suggesting this episode drop me an email contact at spilled milk podcast.com And I'll thank you on a future episode probably months from now.
Molly 0:40
You know what, I'm just realizing Matthew that we didn't mention Frosted Flakes here I'm looking at the agenda but just right out there. I'm gonna get okay. Or do we not want to mention Frosted Flakes? Well, it's defined I was
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:53
Yeah, I was sort of focused on like, the less sweet side of things but except that I did talk about core pops and when you talk about kicks, right, I mean, kicks are not a sweet theory. Oh, oh, it's not I've never had Hicks. Is it Judy? Amster approve six six grams of sugar or less cereal? Oh, great. I mean, literally, literally, that's that's their slogan. tested, Judy Amster approved for being less six grams of sugar or less.
Molly 1:18
Okay, well, why don't you go in to your memory lane which is clearly let me go into really involves kicks.
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:25
Okay, so when I think of the corn based breakfast cereals of my youth as I so often do, I the main one I remember his kicks which were kind of like, I mean, they're a little bit firmer than Corn Pops but they're sort of like unsweetened Corn Pops. They're They're like little balls of inflated corn. And the the slogan of them was kid tested mother approved. The slogan has been updated to kid tested parent approved. Yeah, I see him like like they're already like talking about it at doubted kicks, HQ of like whether it should be updated to like Kid tested parent or guardian approved.
Molly 2:06
It's gonna start to get really clunky, but I like the spirit.
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:09
I mean, not not any clunkier than their original slogan kid tested, Judy ABSHER approved for being six grams of sugar or less.
Molly 2:15
Yeah, okay. Okay. All right. I want to talk about before we go on any further, I want to mention cornflakes. Just like basic cornflakes.
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:23
Yeah, that's what we're going to talk about for like 80% of this episode. Okay.
Molly 2:27
So Matthew, I never like I we never kept cornflakes in the house. I feel
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:32
like it's something that like out in the stream. Right.
Molly 2:35
Exactly. Exactly. Next to my six pack of beer. Because you always put beer on your cornflakes. I don't know if anybody knows this, but this is what how you eat them.
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:43
That's, it's your famous hangover cure.
Molly 2:47
Anyway, no. Okay. But so
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:50
was stream outside your house where you kept like a secret six pack?
Molly 2:53
No, God I grew up in the suburbs of Oklahoma is the least picturesque stream running kind of place could be
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:03
a stream, okay. Like a stream of crude oil.
Molly 3:06
You know, there's more like a stream. There's actually a stream kind of outside my house. Now. It's a drainage channel that runs into Puget Sound, you should
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:14
put some beer in it and see what happens.
Molly 3:16
I should. Anyway, what I was going to say is I remember eating a fair amount of cornflakes as a kid because it would be the kind of thing that you could find in a single serving bowl. Yeah, on like a breakfast buffet. If you were staying at a hotel or a motel, you know,
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:34
or a single serving box also, right? They sometimes would have the box.
Molly 3:38
Wait a minute, what did I just say a single, single serving bowl, which is a thing like the peel off? Yes, I ate one of those recently at La Quinta Inn. Okay, great. Yeah, yeah. But yes, when we were kids are single served. They were single serving boxes. And here's the thing with when you open a box of cornflakes or a bowl or a portable of cornflakes struggling when you eat cornflakes, you must take a spoonful of sugar and scatter it over the top. And I'm glad you
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:13
brought this up because I can't just eat cornflakes. Like here's where I'm at. You know, I was always a big fan of cornflakes we would sometimes have them at home I still they're still one of my favorite cereals. One of the few cereals where I feel like you have to get the name brand and like the the cheap brand isn't as good. Oh,
Molly 4:28
do you get Kellogg's cornflakes. Kellogg's cornflakes. I'm
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:31
holding it up right now with Cornelius the rooster on the box. Oh, I didn't know we had a name. Oh, well, we'll get into that too. I'm so excited to tell you all about Kellogg's cornflakes. But one time I went to a friend's house and they've spoon sugar on their cornflakes and I'm like, this is the shit when I know like my parents would never allow this but when I'm out in the world on my own, every morning I'm going to spoon sugar on my cornflakes pretty much haven't thought about it between that and now. Really good Yeah,
Molly 5:00
wow no, I think I would definitely still spoon at least like 50% the amount of sugar I used to put on it.
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:07
I'm not going to try it right this second because like I we're recording remotely because like you're everyone's favorite virus is in my house. But when like after we finish recording, I'm going to pour myself a bowl of cornflakes and put some sugar on it and then we'll we'll do the episode again.
Molly 5:23
Great. Okay, I can't wait. Before we move on to something else. I do want to shout out for memory lane. I want to shout out everybody's favorite Tori Amos, who was definitely like possibly a cornflake girl.
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:40
You said that you want to shout it out. Everyone's favorite Tori Amos. You know, you know who my favorite Tori Amos.
Molly 5:46
Well, you said everybody's favorite virus was in your house. Oh, that's true. Yeah. So everybody's favorite Tori Amos, which rhymes with virus.
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:53
So I see. Okay, I don't I don't know if it's really fair to to conflate those two.
Molly 5:58
It's not at all do you remember God? Do you remember the cotta light sneeze song? So good. Yeah.
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:11
First two albums are like totally unimpeachable. And she has many other great albums. Okay, okay. I haven't kept up with her on my 90s Music podcast. We devoted a whole episode to the album little earthquakes a while back.
Molly 6:23
Great. Okay, I'll go catch that. But not not okay. I don't want to catch everybody's favorite virus. I'll just catch everybody's favorite Toyota.
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:31
Oh, mid 90s Music podcast is called Hidden jukebox in case you want to look it up yourself. That's a plug.
Molly 6:37
Yes, yes. You should all go listen to it everybody. Matthew records it with his brother Jake. Yeah, yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:43
I wasn't I wasn't gonna plug Jake. Oh, no. Why bother? Okay, but wait, hold on. He is one of my two favorite brothers but not necessarily number one. I make them I make them like jockey for my love.
Molly 6:55
jockey for my love that sounds like is that just came out of my mouth. Right? It's like a song.
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:01
Okay. I'm working on some new songs and like one of the one of them needs a new title. So I've got to ask my collaborator for you can call it jockey for my love. It would not fit with like the the tone of the little EP we're working on, but, but we should do it anyway.
Molly 7:17
jockey for my love is like a cross between genuine pony. Yep. And a pointer says the Pointer Sisters just shop for my love. Right? Yeah. Jockey jockey for my love. Yeah. All right, that
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:31
if there was a song that combined everything that's great about those two songs, like, you know, you would put that on it just like everyone would fuck instantly,
Molly 7:40
right? Yes. Okay, Matthew, was there another corn based cereal in your youth that you want to mention
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:46
that? That's a wonder. Thank you for this setup. There. That was great. Quaker corn Bran, which they later changed to Quaker crunchy corn Bran and then discontinued because it wasn't a very popular cereal. But it was like little pillows of like crunchy pillows of corn Bran. I always forget that the corn has brand of Yeah, I
Molly 8:07
forget the corn has brand Bran wheat bran it's just totally overrun corn brand and the brand market
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:15
that that? Yeah, it seems like you're right. Like I don't know why that is. Yeah, I don't I don't even have a guess. But yeah, but I remember really liking Quaker corn Bran. Maybe they'll bring it back as like a limited edition nostalgia box.
Molly 8:28
Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun. I look forward to that.
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:31
Do you like you know that Nirvana saga edition dystocia box.
Molly 8:38
I feel like we should we should tell the reader we shouldn't tell the reader listener that we're recording remotely this morning which is part of why we keep talking all over each other and we cannot get this show started. We
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:50
should definitely tell the reader that big that I that? I just told them two minutes ago.
Molly 8:56
Did you really?
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:57
Yes guys. Yeah, we were recording remotely because I had everyone's favorite virus in the house.
Molly 9:01
Oh, God, I'm sorry. Okay, so Matthew, let's just let's finally get this show started.
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:07
Let's do it. Okay, so
Molly 9:09
now that we've established that we both have history with corn based breakfast cereals,
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:14
which is toasted lurid history,
Molly 9:16
would you tell me a bit about your your research into the history of corn based breakfast cereal,
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:23
okay, this research is going to lean heavily on the Wikipedia page for cornflakes. But there's like we're going to learn a lot along the way I think. So according to Wikipedia, quote, The cereal originally made with wheat was created by Willa Kellogg in 1894. For patients at the Battle Creek Sanitarium where he worked with his brother, John Kellogg, who was the superintendent. Why are
Molly 9:45
so many grain based products invented for like treatment of maladies, like masturbation or other things like that?
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:55
Right like all all this year is we're gonna be we're gonna be talking about like, we're like attempts to get Kids just stop masturbating and like they looked at the court like well, this didn't work but maybe Corn Pops will help. Right
Molly 10:12
let's try graham crackers.
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:14
I think it's because like the the Battle Creek Sanitarium was like and and like, like people who work there stayed there like it was like a hotbed of like serial development. And also they had some weird ideas.
Molly 10:28
Okay, okay, where was the Battle Creek sanitary
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:30
Battle Creek, Michigan, okay, okay. And so this would have been like at the end of the 19th century kinda, and the early 20th century. The whole history that I read, like I tried to figure out like, Okay, the first version of this was wheat flakes, like, when did corn come into the equation? I don't really know not too long after wheat. Okay, still from Wikipedia, quote, There is considerable disagreement over who was involved in the discovery and the role they play. It's generally agreed that upon being called out one night, John Kellogg left a batch of wheat berry called out. Like, hey, you're, Hey, you, you the guy who's obsessed with with with whether kids are masturbating or not, like, cut it out? Stand down. What
Molly 11:16
have you got to hide man, right.
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:18
So he went out and left a batch of wheat berry dough behind rather than throwing it out. The next morning, he sent it through the rollers and was surprised to obtain delicate flakes which could then be baked. Oh, good job, John. Kela. So once again, we have like a food origin story where like, it originated in an accident. Yeah. So the process they discovered was called tampering which seems to be just like adding water to the ground grain and letting it sit for a little while. Okay, or actually, not even necessarily before it's ground. I didn't totally get what temporary was even though I watched a bunch of videos and read a bunch of articles about how they make cornflakes. But apparently it's very important.
Molly 11:55
Okay, great. Well, I now know the term and we'll throw it around wildly.
Matthew Amster-Burton 12:01
Yeah, you gotta you gotta temper your grains. Okay, if you don't temper your grains, how are you going to temper your lustful feelings? Right? Exactly. The original wheat Flakes cereal was called grandiose. Huh? So cereal naming has cereal naming gotten better it has, quote in 1906 Will Keith Kellogg who served as the business manager of the sanitarium decided to try to mass market the new food at his new company Battle Creek toasted cornflake company. So apparently the corn got in sometime between 1894 and 1906. He added sugar to the flakes to make them more palatable to a mass audience. But this caused a rift between his brother and him citation needed.
Molly 12:42
Okay, so this this this rift, this could just be an apocryphal riff, because we don't have a citation. It could
Matthew Amster-Burton 12:49
be an apocryphal rift. Between between will Kellogg and John Kellogg? Yeah, so presumably John was like if you sweeten the flakes, like they're not going to have the desired effect anymore, because okay, because like sugar like, you know, inflames the loins?
Molly 13:04
Yes.
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:06
In 1907, his company ran an ad campaign which offered a free box of cereal to any woman who winked at her grocer.
Molly 13:13
Whoa, it's gone. Things have gone off the radar when he's sighted. This company is so confused about what it's trying to do. I mean, I'd like to point out the thing about masturbation you and I mostly me just made that up right okay.
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:28
I don't know like I wouldn't be surprised if it was true.
Molly 13:31
But yeah, I wouldn't either because that's that's like the suppose that origin story for graham crackers and a bunch of other like weedy things
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:39
I think there was definitely like like, you know, a sexual purity element to the Battle Creek Sanitarium. I probably getting it from getting this from that movie The road to well Ville which may or may not have any historical accuracy, but I think so.
Molly 13:52
But hold on. I just have to I have to go back to this. Okay, so, the company Battle Creek, toasted cornflake company ran an ad that offered a free box of cereal to any woman who winked at her grocer. Yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:06
this was like, What are they doing? I mean, like, Yeah, this is terrible. It was like, This is 1907. Like, you know, that's equivalent to like, like a like a blow job today, right?
Molly 14:16
It is. Okay. Inflation, right. Exactly.
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:18
Like
Molly 14:23
oh, my God, wait, I just got it in.
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:25
Place it Yeah. Blow job. But But it was funny. It was funny even even without the double entendre. Delighted.
Molly 14:33
I also want to point out that if this was happening in 1907, that's also when my home state of Oklahoma was founded.
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:39
Oh, okay. Great. Yeah. So yeah, so probably when there was like an Oklahoma like land rush, was there also like an Oklahoma cereal rush?
Molly 14:50
No, no, there was just the land rush and then there was the statehood.
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:54
Okay. Steal from Wikipedia quote to increase sales in 1909. He will kill I've added a special offer the funny jungle land moving pictures booklet, which was made available to anyone who bought two boxes of the cereal. I I love this so much because I love it when old timey things have old timey names. This is the funny jungle land moving picture. Like a flip book. It was I assume it was a flip book. Yes. Did you? Were you into flip books when you were a kid? I thought they were so cool.
Molly 15:26
I mean, I thought they were pretty cool. But it was the kind of thing that you would like pick up at like a little gift store or at a hallmark or something would flip through it and then you'd put it back down.
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:35
Yeah, but yeah, but like during during that, like, two seconds when you were flipping it like nothing. The world just melted away. It's true. It's true. I was so sorbed in that funny jungle land animals doing your antics. Yep.
Molly 15:49
So do you think that any of the mascots work? Like did they have mascots from the Battle Creek toasted cornflake company and in the funny jungle land moving pictures booklet I imagined
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:01
so so first of all, I want to I want to establish that the the funny jungle and moving pictures booklet offer was good for 22 That was the continue to offer it for 22 years. You know, you know what I didn't do? I didn't look at whether there's like a scan of the funny jungle and moving Oh, there totally is. Really if you Google funny jungle and moving pictures booklet. You can see lots of lots of examples. Okay, this is the most like old timey 1909 shit you've ever seen
Molly 16:31
and moving pictures. Okay, I'm pulling up one
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:35
that has like a like a dapper elephant and a dapper giraffe.
Molly 16:39
Oh, yes. That's what I'm seeing too. Yeah, kids, kids.
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:44
hate this. So
Molly 16:48
it's kind of very like, Babar vibe. Like bio, totally does. Babar in his colonialist friends isn't getting the top hats.
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:58
Robert salutely Like, like these are very wrong with this.
Molly 17:02
Yes. Interesting. Okay, funny jungle land indeed.
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:06
Okay, so according to Wikipedia, still, there have been many mascots of Kellogg's cornflakes. I could not find any of them other than the current mascot, which Wikipedia says is the most popular one a green rooster named Cornelius corny rooster, which has been the mascot since his debut. So so so like, Thanks Wikipedia. Like like corn. Cornelius has been the mascot since becoming the mascot. Quote, In early commercials, he would speak the catchphrase. Wake up, up up to Kellogg's cornflakes later he stopped talking and simply crowed size just like the mob got to him right citation needed. Yeah. Like, like some Bob enforcers got for years, like like, you know, you need to shut your beak. Later
Molly 17:55
later, stop talking and simply crowed.
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:00
Maybe he was like, I was gonna say MIT like maybe he was he was saying racist stuff. And they were like Cordelia shut the fuck up. But like back then I don't think he would have been gotten in any trouble for saying racist stuff. So it's true.
Molly 18:11
It's true. So so like then what happened? I mean, were these still being made by the Battle Creek, toasted corn, bleep blue blah, blah blah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:20
which became the Kellogg's Corporation. But quote, with cornflakes becoming popular in the wider community, a previous patient at the sanitarium CW post started to make rival products. Wow, I didn't realize that. Yes, CW post stayed at the Battle Creek Sanitarium and maybe like did some industrial espionage while he was there.
Molly 18:42
I had no idea. This is fantastic. I love this origin story.
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:46
Have you noticed? I get the sense that even to this day cereals in the cereal aisle are arranged by manufacturer and low I
Molly 18:56
actually I guess I did notice it because are you familiar with the kind of vaguely health foodie serial line Barbara's? Oh, am I ever so my household adores Barbara's oven crunch or something not puffins out crunch which look like little striped pillows sort of and they're delicious. Not gorilla Munch. Not gorilla much anyway, but there's something going on with the Barbara's supply chain. Okay, and this cereal has been out of stores for Well, we're recording this episode in mid July and it's already been out of stores for at least a month and my household is struggling struggling. But anyway I do always notice that the barbarous cereals are always stocked together. But I had not noticed that other companies were as well although Yeah, launched
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:48
like a Kellogg SEC section and a General Mills section. And I don't know I don't know if post. i There's still post cereals right. Do you are we living in a cereal age?
Molly 19:59
Do you do You know, who makes all these brands? I mean, like, like when I think of cornflakes, it makes me Kellogg's. Well, obviously, but it's only because you've said it like 18 Times this morning. Yeah. Okay. If you hadn't I might be like, cornflakes who makes those General Mills.
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:17
Yeah. I mean, it's like, it's like, you know, why would anyone care? Right, right, right. So post cereals still exist, they make they make some of your fan favorites like Grape Nuts, pebbles, Raisin Bran and more. Okay,
Molly 20:30
I do love Raisin Bran.
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:32
I don't, but I'm glad you did. Thanks.
Molly 20:43
Do you have anything else you want to tell me about? Cornflakes?
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:46
Okay, cornflakes are produced in significant quantities at the Trafford Park factory in Manchester, England, which is the largest cereal factory in the world. Awesome. Cool. Maybe we can tour it someday.
Molly 20:57
Yeah. Do you ever? You know people use cornflakes in a whole bunch of like cooking purposes like cornflakes on top of like cornflakes to bread fried chicken.
Matthew Amster-Burton 21:09
You have this? It's really tasty.
Molly 21:11
I'm sure I think I have had. What about cornflakes? Don't people sometimes do it on top of casseroles tuna noodle casserole or?
Matthew Amster-Burton 21:19
I think so. Yeah, that makes sense. And in Japan, they're really popular ice cream topping or like a parfait topping where you'll have like, you know, some some soft serve or hard serve ice cream. It's called serve right? It is called Heart serve. And that with like layers of like, you know, like like a jelly and like some cornflakes and sort of chocolate chips or something like that. So it's a really good ice cream top textural delight. It is a textural delight.
Molly 21:48
So okay, do you have anything else that we absolutely need to know about cornflakes later?
Matthew Amster-Burton 21:54
How to make cornflakes. Maybe I should do that now. And then and then we'll talk about some different cereals. Okay, yeah, so I there is a page on Kellogg's dot com about how they make cornflakes. It does not explain how they make cornflakes at all. So I start reading this page, I'm like, oh, cool, they're gonna like explain the whole process and it starts with every kernel of corn we harvest makes two to three flakes. And that is all of the factual information on that page pretty. So great so that I watched a YouTube video which will link to from discovery UK and the corn so kernels of corn are hauled and D germs and cooked in a pressure cooker. I think they are probably flavored with a little bit of salt and sugar and malt at this point. But the video didn't say whether that happens now or later. But I know those are ingredients in Kellogg's cornflakes. The cooked corn is then like dried in like a drying oven. Or like a you know, it's still tossed in hot air until it's contained about 20% moisture. And then they roll it between these heavy rollers. And these things are so metal, they will like you like put your arm near them and your arm is off.
Molly 23:03
Can Can we see them in that YouTube video you mentioned?
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:06
Yeah. Okay, like they're rollers way like hundreds of pounds each. And they're calibrated to like a very, very precise distance between them so you get the right thickness of flake. Okay. Pretty cool, right? Yeah, super
Molly 23:20
cool.
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:21
According to the video that my my favorite quote from the video was at this point, the flakes are still quite soft and not at all tasty. So they look they look kind of like rags after coming out of the rollers like and or like like like some like wet seaweed you would find on the beach, only corn colored and then they get toasted on a conveyor belt until the moisture content is reduced to 3%. And then they can be sprayed with a sugar solution if they're gonna become frosted flakes or like sprayed with other flavorings. Okay, that's it. Wow. Okay, well, that was kind of interesting. Box. Okay, it's fun to watch a video about cornflakes. Especially the big rollers.
Molly 24:00
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well, so so yeah. Go look at our show notes and go check out that roller that will share your squish your arm off.
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:10
It will squish your arm off. Yeah, like your arm could get flaked your arm could get flaked God that was Yeah. Well, how should be you know, you know, remember that? Will It Blend video series? Yeah, people are into a wild squid. That yeah, there's you will it squish where they just like put things that should not go into the cornflake rollers in there. Like not an actual person's arm. That would be cool. But but like No, no, maybe like a Cabbage Patch Kid.
Molly 24:34
Yes or no? Why
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:35
that's the first thing I thought. But it would be pretty great. Right?
Molly 24:39
It would be pretty great. I know what what would happen to like, so their bodies are usually soft. And their faces I think were soft originally but now the faces I think are plastic
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:50
release. So I sort of imagined there'll be like like a sad like deflating sound but maybe it just be like a crunchy sound.
Molly 24:57
I think it'd be kind of crunching and kind of like pillow squishing sound
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:02
okay. Yeah. But like what would like I would put in a Cabbage Patch Kid what would be the first thing you would throw into the rollers in the Will It will it? What do we call it? Will
Molly 25:11
it be back chair could be really satisfying. Yeah, it'd be like, it'd be like what? Like Pop Rocks like the sound of Pop Rocks.
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:19
And like, like it would have flattened into like, like a giant flat 10 feet in diameter with the chair flake. Yep. Okay. I eat that. Okay, how about Corn Pops? How do you feel about these? Corn Pops
Molly 25:34
have never done it for me. I don't really like is it supposed to be like a honey flavor that they're supposed to? So there's that honey smacks,
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:43
there's honey smacks like corn Corn Pops were like they're one of these heroes that have gone back and forth between being called just Corn Pops and sugar Corn Pops several times over the course of their career. And they're round right there. They're kind of they're kind of like, round, but well actually, let's get into this because they're the American Corn Pops are sort of like peanut m&ms in that they're kind of like, organically shaped sort of like oval ish, kind of lumpy. But Canadian Corn Pops again, according to Wikipedia look very different. They are uniformly spherical and have a porous surface similar to Kix. The taste and texture of the Canadian and American versions of this cereal differ considerably despite sharing the same name and manufacturer. Kellogg says this is due to raw ingredients and the regulatory agency agencies that exist in a particular country and that it cereal differs by country also by virtue of marketing and culture. So, culturally speaking, Americans prefer a softer more misshapen corn pop.
Molly 26:46
That is Canadian
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:49
money that like it regimented,
Molly 26:52
and but they also like it to have a porous surface port. They
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:55
love a porous surface in Canada if there's one thing that that we know about Canada, but it's that they go crazy for a porous surface. Yeah, I think the I don't mind Corn Pops, but they're not one of my favorites. I wouldn't ever like choose them over Frosted Flakes, which I know we'll get into
Molly 27:11
I think I have only eaten these like under duress, you know, at like a Motel Six breakfast buffet.
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:19
So like, like a step down from LaQuinta. Yes, yes.
Molly 27:23
A moment of real desperation.
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:25
Here's the other thing that I love from the Wikipedia page about Corn Pops quote, unlike the vast majority of breakfast cereals, Corn Pops in the USA was packaged in a foil lined bag until the mid 2010s. I do remember that. This helps prevent the pups from going stale, and from secreting a steamy substance that caused the corn puffs to stick together a problem caused by the method by which the cereal is processed. The the word secreting
Molly 27:49
secreting a sticky substance sounds it sounds like it's some sort of insect like maybe it's one of those beetles that that like right produces shellac
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:59
or wait yeah, like it was trying to like like drive off predators.
Molly 28:03
Delete dish come from like something the beetle secretes, or do you have to like crush the Beetle in the cornflake rollers? I had shellac literally
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:12
read some No wait. No, I read something about shellac but it was not. It was not like lac beetle shellac. It was like the kind that comes from a tree. I don't know. We'll do a shellac episode.
Molly 28:23
Okay, but anyway, so, uh wow, it secretes a
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:28
sticky substance. That's like Voltec feel I feel like you know, I already said it wasn't one of my favorite cereals. Now. I may be like scared off of corn puffs forever.
Molly 28:39
What about corn checks?
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:41
Corn checks were introduced in 1958. That's kind of kind of all I got.
Molly 28:47
You know, I had I had wheat checks for breakfast. The
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:49
smell I have I have a box of corn checks here. I haven't opened it yet. I do like them. Have you tasted them? Not today, but I've had them many times in the past. Okay, they're great checks for making muddy buddies or puppy food puppy chow.
Molly 29:04
How is how are corn checks different from crisp picks? Which were one of my favorite cereals growing mine
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:12
too. Do you remember the CRISPR X commercial which I'm sure is on YouTube? Where like the corn farmer and rice farmer are arguing over which is the bed which side of the CRISPR mix is better? No but that's so here's how I remember it. There's like there's like a corn farmer and a rice farmer argument or no way. It's not that it's that here's it here's the commercial as I remember it, this could be completely like me I could be completely misremembering this and making it up but it was a corn farmer from Iowa talking to his son about how the in our house were corn farmers and we liked the corn corn side of the crispy looks better. And then and the son the kid is like I you know, I think I kind of like the rice side of the crispy it's better and like the dad like ships the kid off to bootcamp and he's like six years old. Okay, except for except for the last part. That is actually how I remember the commercial. Because of this commercial like my brothers and I, when we were kids, we would like bite around the edge of the crucifix and separate it into two pieces and then like eat them separately.
Molly 30:13
I do remember biting, biting the two halves apart.
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:16
Oh, yeah, sometimes you could like, like, if you got your teeth just like in the groove, right? You can like separate them just with like one careful soft bite.
Molly 30:23
Right? I do think Chris mix is a really excellent cereal and I'm a little bummed that I wasn't able to pick them up before our episode. Today is
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:33
a good cereal. Yeah, and they the two sides really do taste different. I didn't look up when ChrisFix was first made. 1983 So no wonder we love it. It is our childhood cereal. Yeah, they made it just for just for folks like us. They did corn, corn and rice farmers and the children there.
Molly 30:54
So Matthew, what are your favorite corn based breakfast cereals? Today?
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:58
I gotta go original Kellogg's cornflakes. No question. And I do love Frosted Flakes. Like I feel like cornflakes and Frosted Flakes tend to come in really big boxes. Like sometimes there's like a normal sized box but usually it's not on sale. So you're paying like $6 for the regular size box or like 429 for the family size box. And so like about like you know, when I get to like day five of frosted flakes of like, I've been eating too many Frosted Flakes. It's hard it's like hard it gets harder to enjoy. There's a principle of diminishing marginal returns cornflakes I can just like plow through the whole box.
Molly 31:36
You know that's a really good point because most of the time and again this is not our like sugary corn based breakfast cereals episode but but yeah, but most of the time when I get Frosted Flakes it's usually in a single serving thing or like somebody else's bought them. And I can help myself to a bowl right that is like that is a delight. Yeah, incredible treat
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:01
your understanding what you like is free cereal that you don't have to pay for.
Molly 32:05
Or that I've paid for like in my all inclusive Yeah, running price. But now that I think about it, uh, yeah, I don't think I would want to eat Frosted Flakes morning after morning after morning. But at the same time, Matthew, I have not eaten just a bowl of cornflakes in ever.
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:22
Even without a spoonful of sugar.
Molly 32:23
I think yeah, I'm
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:25
gonna Okay, I'm gonna try that very soon. Okay, okay, but I do love Frosted Flakes. It is a great cereal. So
Molly 32:33
I'm really glad that you added that because Tony the Tiger was calling in online one feeling really upset that we'd spent so much time talking about Cornelius he stopped talking
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:43
you called it like you the listener couldn't hear it because it was on like our private thing, buddy, buddy. Like, like you guys like I'm a peaceful Tiger. I've like a third like up the road of tigers. Was that thorough? That was before we started recording. That was before we started but but anyway, but yeah, he said he went he felt like mauling us.
Molly 33:01
Well, I think what he actually said Is he was like, Come on, guys. I'm Grreat
Matthew Amster-Burton 33:07
Yeah, but while I said that he made like a more like motion with his claws. Very sexy.
Molly 33:14
Okay, gosh. Okay, Matthew, is there anything else we need to say about corn based breakfast cereals?
Matthew Amster-Burton 33:20
Yeah, no, I feel like like considering considering the possibly apocryphal origin like Tony the Tiger feels like pretty horny mascot. That was the that was the thing I wanted to add about corn based breakfast cereals. Thanks for teeing me up.
Molly 33:34
Okay. Okay. Good.
Matthew Amster-Burton 33:37
Now, now, all I could think about is like, which are the horniest serial mascots. We'll do this on a future episode, I'm
Molly 33:43
sure. Okay. Okay. Matthew,
Matthew Amster-Burton 33:47
like to catch jam can do all kinds of stuff with his nose. Okay, yeah, yeah.
Molly 33:57
Okay, I just can't stop that. So this past weekend, I went camping with a bunch of families, including a little boy who's going into fifth grade who I know is a major like fan of this podcast. Oh, okay. time you say the word horny. I just keep thinking of this poor little kid and what we're doing to his brain.
Matthew Amster-Burton 34:18
I thought we cannot run our show that way.
Molly 34:21
Okay, fine. Could we put like, could we put a warning on this one that says like, not for
Matthew Amster-Burton 34:26
Xavier? Yeah, yeah. Like and okay. And SFX Yeah, there we go. That's pretty, pretty fun acronym there.
Molly 34:33
Yeah, that is pretty good. Okay, all right. It's time for segments.
Matthew Amster-Burton 34:38
Yeah, I mean, you You are the one who like like, like on an episode a couple of weeks ago, like talk talked about, like, you know, who's the best blowing agent? Like for hours. That's. It's true.
Molly 34:52
I know. I gotta it's also hard when we're not in the same.
Matthew Amster-Burton 34:55
I know. That's true. It's really hard. Yeah.
Molly 34:59
My life Job is so hard it's
Matthew Amster-Burton 35:01
as hard as to can Sam's nose. Alright, so how about now but wow
Molly 35:15
Matthew, do you have one? I do.
Matthew Amster-Burton 35:17
Okay, so my now but wow is a video game this week and it's a video game that I'm betting many people in our audience have already played because it is not new. It's like it came out in like 2002 or something, but I haven't played it before. It's the Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney trilogy. I'm playing it on switch but it's available on practically every platform. It is a it's like a legal like a courtroom drama based visual novel. And it is so like I had kind of started and knew it existed for a while and knew that like you're supposed to, like the kids say ship you're supposed to ship Oh yeah, you're shipping characteristics right and and the hunky well, not hunky more like pretty sexy prosecutor
Molly 36:04
okay, it's Phoenix right? Male or female
Matthew Amster-Burton 36:07
Phoenix Phoenix, right is is a man and so as the prosecutor but there's so much more can you see
Molly 36:13
this? You're supposed they're supposed to be like gay shipping. Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Oh, God, I love this game. I'm ready.
Matthew Amster-Burton 36:19
This game is so weird. It's so much weirder that it has to be like so many ridiculous things happen like you know, I have I have heard like possible spoiler alert. I haven't gotten to this yet. But there's gonna be a future installment where I get hit on the head and get amnesia but still have to defend myself in court. Like there's a there's a case where like now the prosecutor is accused of murder and I now he's my client. Like whatever like there's there's a supernatural and magical realism elements. One of my favorite things about the game as opposed to be set in like the Western US or Canada, it seems like but also there's like a bunch of Japanese stuff because the game was made in Japan. So like, at one point, you go into like, the like a shack owned by like a like a grizzled like the guy who runs a boathouse like it's the boathouse. And, and we're supposed to, it's supposed to believe this is I think Western Canada, and when you go in like he's got a kotatsu with rice crackers and mandarin oranges. I laughed so hard anyway. He gave his cheap it is it's like pure escapism. It is so silly there. There are some murders but very stylized and like I'm having so much fun with it. That is amazing. That's Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney.
Molly 37:36
I love the delight on your face as you're describing this. Okay, well our producer is Abby, sir Catella. And boy have we given her a lot to work with in this episode.
Matthew Amster-Burton 37:46
Please rate and review us wherever you get your podcasts.
Molly 37:49
You can chat with other spilled milk listeners on our Reddit that's reddit.com/are/everything spilled.
Matthew Amster-Burton 37:56
Yeah, head on over there. I bet they're already discussing which is the horniest serial mask mask. I can't wait to find out. And until next time,
Molly 38:05
we're going to stop talking and start crowing. Until next time,
Matthew Amster-Burton 38:09
every kernel of corn makes two to three flakes like us. Yes,
Molly 38:13
I'm Molly wise and very good start growing.
Matthew Amster-Burton 38:15
Again, I'm Cornelius
Molly 38:26
I like to live on the edge so I'm just gonna I'm going to open it in a new window.
Matthew Amster-Burton 38:31
Okay, Molly, Molly said just before we started started recording that she decided not to print the agenda. I knew I was gonna work off the off the computer screen like like a impetuous maniac of podcasting.
Molly 38:46
That's me. Okay, here we go. I'm resizing my windows, bro.
Matthew Amster-Burton 38:50
All right,
Molly 38:51
hold on. I'm not ready. Okay, I should have done this earlier. Sorry.