What better way to kick off spooky season than with an episode dedicated to devilry, danger zones and possessions? As we hesitantly traverse our malodorous memory lanes, we encounter key parties, baby loaves and fuzzy green inhabitants before escaping into dream territory. This sounds weird, here you listen.
Rated YFJ - Yes for June (citation needed)
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:00
Hi. I'm Matthew.
Molly 0:05
And I'm Molly.
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:06
And this is spilled milk, the show where we cook something delicious. Eat it all, and you can't have any.
Molly 0:11
Wow. Okay, today this is gonna take a little bit of explaining but the short version is, today is episode 666. Yes,
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:19
the number of the the That's right.
Molly 0:21
That's right. You know, June actually said to me recently, when did you start Spilt Milk? And
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:27
I was like January of 2010, which I'm so glad we started it in January of 2010. So easy to remember it started any other time. I would never remember how long we've been doing this. Oh, it wasn't it was like, you know, June 2011. I don't know. Well,
Molly 0:41
so I was like, January of 2010. And she was like, have you done like, 100 episodes? And I was like, ah, anyway, no, June. This is episode number 666. And that means we are talking about what we're going to call possessed
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:00
food. Yeah. And this is this episode rated y f. J. Yes. for June. Sure. Sure.
Molly 1:05
Right. Yeah. It's
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:06
about time do you learn about the devil? That's
Molly 1:11
can't believe God what a terrible parent I am. I haven't I haven't put the flick the fear of the devil into her.
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:17
Yeah. Yeah. Like guys swap out Santa Claus for the devil.
Molly 1:20
costume. The chimney.
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:24
Yeah, the devil comes up up the chimney from below. No,
Molly 1:28
yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Through the flames.
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:32
Yeah. Do you have anything like under your house that looks like serious black sometimes. Yeah. And face appears and sometimes like Robert De Niro. Michael Michael Douglas. Who was there was some movie with like Keanu Reeves. Al Pacino. Oh, yeah. Okay, question when you were a kid, were you were you aware of the movie? The Omen? No. Okay. I was I never saw it because like I'm still too scared to see scary movies but like what but I always like hearing about them. And so like when I was a kid like this was for a time like like the scariest movie that was out there was the The Omen about like a kid named Damien who was possessed by the devil. Oh, wow. Wow, is that a great premise for like, the title is perfect. The fact that the kids named Damien is perfect. There's like a 666 on the poster. It's so good. It's so good. All right. So this was suggested by listener Colton, who wrote a whole spilled mail that we already read, but we're going to read it again because we thought it was such a good idea that we made it a whole episode.
Molly 2:31
That's right. So listener Colton says, here's a suggestion for episode 666 possessed foods that is possessed by micro organisms, aka food safety. Would you tell stories of going to restaurants or relative's houses and seeing deplorable kitchen conditions and knowing you'd be eating that? Or you'd been eating it already? Do your parents have any any unhinged behaviors? My parents think you can leave cut fruits and vegetables out for an unlimited period of time because only meat could possibly get contaminated. Have you ever gotten food poisoning? Did it ruin a food for you? As for the eat at all and you can have any part of the slogan you should cheese plate some deliberately possessed foods like yogurt, tempeh, a blue cheese, kimchi, etc. Could be fun. Anyway, just thought it would be interesting to have a Numerology themed episode can't wait to write again to suggest the topic lucky foods for episode 777 Yeah, listener Colt.
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:32
Okay, so we're gonna do some of these things. We're not going to choose played anything because we just ate some breakfast sandwiches, which is going to be for a future episode. And we've done we've done various fermented foods in the past and will do so again. That's right. I'm not planning to talk about like any like, you know, scary restaurant or deplorable home kitchen behaviors I've seen in like, I don't want to call anyone out. Sure. Like, but
Molly 3:55
it is it is interesting to me. I mean, yeah, like I remember when I lived with a friend of mine, our senior year of college, she was scandalized. That I was not refrigerating the soy sauce. And I Oh, sure. Because she had I guess had some grandmother or something who didn't refrigerator soy sauce. And an angry
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:16
mother is now dead. And mold grew on top. Wow. And she
Molly 4:20
had to like sort of use it anyway, because she didn't have anything else for a recipe. And so my friend was absolutely scandalized. And therefore always refrigerated or soy sauce. And Matthew, You came to my house recently and you were like, Molly, you don't have to refrigerate your soy sauce. And I was like, I don't because I'd been like, by leaving my friend for like 20 years. I don't
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:44
remember saying this. It is the kind of thing I would say. I like how you apply that this was the only reason I came here. Just for like an intervention.
Molly 4:51
Yeah. No, but I think this is also like a real sort of like, white American thing to refrigerate your soy sauce. You Yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:00
I like the one thing that I do remember like seeing like relatives do that I'm like, I don't think this is right is like leaving frozen meat out on the counter to thaw.
Molly 5:09
I do that sometime. Yeah. And I like there, you're gonna cook it. But there are other food safety things that I feel really particular about. Like, I do not want to eat cooked rice that's been out for very long
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:21
either.
Molly 5:22
I do not want to
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:23
remind you of something I need to I need to like put a note on the agenda. So don't forget, okay. Things
Molly 5:28
like hummus. I'm scared of getting food poisoning from hummus. That's been out too long. Yeah, it's weird. Like listener Colton says here, you know, was talking about their parents leaving cut fruits and vegetables out for an unlimited period of time. I feel like I would totally leave cut and even like, roasted or raw vegetables and fruit out for a very long time.
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:55
But like, how long is it unlimited period of time? Like overnight?
Molly 5:59
No, not overnight.
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:00
But because I mean, when you when you get your food handlers license, they tell you about the danger zone. That's right. 40 it's anywhere between Episode 665 Episode 667 Oh, it's 40 to 140 Fahrenheit. Yeah, so and that applies to like everything across the board. Not that everything is like equally likely to cause foodborne illness but like, you know, better safe than sorry. And your assumptions about which things are likely to be contaminated are probably kind of out of sync with reality. Well, yeah,
Molly 6:32
I think people I think people don't realize how frequent food poisoning is from, like starches like pasta, rice, potatoes, and of course, legumes beans and things like that. Yeah. And I think we all tend to think of like yeah, meat first. Yeah.
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:50
And and like, I mean, I think there have been enough outbreaks associated with like salad greens that people are aware of this, but there are still people are still eating salads. Okay to do it tonight.
Molly 7:01
What about like, let's say that you were going over to a friend's house and you were doing something with like roasted peppers or something
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:08
doing like doing something nasty with roasted peppers like something
Molly 7:11
it was like a key party like bringing over a key and dropping it into a play. You bring over some roasted peppers and
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:20
reaches into the bowl. And it's and it's very, like, slippery
Molly 7:24
and said you sensuous
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:29
no one will ever be able to distinguish those two Well,
Molly 7:31
anyway, but so Okay, Matthew, let's say you're roasting some some peppers for some, okay, like Sam rose red bell pepper, you're gonna roast him, you're gonna peel them. After you've done that, like, let's say that you do that first thing in the morning and you're going to be eating them with something for dinner that night.
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:47
Okay, so I think I think I'm realizing like, just now that I've like a little bit of a germaphobe Oh, yeah. Which like you wouldn't think of because like, we talked about how much I love makeout like any?
Molly 7:59
Yeah, you've been making out the same person for like, 27 years or something. Yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:05
sure. I probably have all over germs. But no, I'm getting I'm not only going to put those in the fridge, but I'm gonna like put some plastic wrap over the bowl. Oh, like completely unnecessary. Yeah,
Molly 8:16
no, I'm not going to do that. Yeah, I think that I'll probably put them in the fridge. I'm definitely not going to cover them. But like if I'm roasting some vegetables to serve at room temperature at dinner or something and I roast them in the early afternoon. I'm probably going to leave them I mean I wouldn't do that but let's say I were making okay my mom makes this like Israeli couscous salad that has a bunch of roasted vegetables in it I would for sure just leave those vegetables out so as to not alter their flavor or texture. Sure. Yeah.
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:46
And the other I mean the other thing I will say is like the reason I put plastic wrap on things is like less about food safety and more about I know Yeah, I'm gonna flip the bowl. Yeah, and like, like if I'm if I'm making like a what I call a proprietary spice blend, which is anytime like I'm making like a curry spice mixture or like, you know, a spice mixture for making homemade taco meat if I'm not using it instantly I will I will put plastic crap on the bowl just because I don't want turmeric on my rug that's happened to me before Oh, okay.
Molly 9:14
Okay, it's never happened to me. Okay, I guess over and maybe maybe this is why I'm I play fast and loose with my spice blends.
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:22
So I think we need to distinguish between because because most of this episode is not going to be as much about food safety. It's going to be more about food spoilage which are related but not exactly the same thing because there are lots of there are like contaminants of you know, fungi and bacteria that cause like foodborne illness and then there are ones that cause food to get gross along with along with enzymatic react.
Molly 9:47
I think we're mostly interested in when like when food becomes possessed by micro organisms and how how shocking and amazing yeah, inspiring
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:59
and we We will I think we will talk a little bit about like foods that we were put off of because of a food poisoning incident even even if like we can't be sure that those foods were even involved. Yeah, but Okay, so why don't we first I wanted to read something from from Wikipedia so that basically this whole episode is is a big ol long stretch of memory lane. Yeah, like 100 100 mile Memory Lane and I would walk 500 Miles
Molly 10:22
Yeah. Would you walk 500 more. And that
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:27
sounds pretty exhausting. I think I'm gonna stop at 500 I'm not sure how I'm gonna get home. But okay, so So, what I went to the Wikipedia page on food spoilage. There's a separate Wikipedia page on meat spoilage and I really enjoyed this quote, quote, bacteria and various fungi are the cause of spoilage and can create serious consequences for the consumers but there are preventative measures that can be taken citation needed.
Molly 10:56
Because this is in dispute, right exam Oh my god. Okay, we're gonna take turns talking about some possessed foods of your yes
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:06
of my of yours. Okay, yeah. All right, so I'm gonna start with the one that I was reminded of as we were talking about Rice earlier because I completely forgot I thought I would never forget this but apparently I blocked it out for a time until you made the nightmare spring to life again, okay, years ago, we there was this product from Trader Joe's that we liked called Trader Joe's pesto rice. That was it was some rice with like a seasoning like pesto flavored seasoning packet with some like dried cheese and dried herbs and stuff. Okay, and we would make it in the rice cooker. And one time we made it ate some and forgot about the rest and then open the rice cooker after like three days not realizing it was in there. And this rice cooker like sealed very effectively. So we weren't smelling anything but then as soon as we opened it it was like a new civilization has taken root there. And it was a fragrant civilization was like, you know, when people talk about how like in the Renaissance probably everyone like was stinky all the time. It was like that it was
Molly 12:11
like that. Did you like put on like latex gloves to sort of really scoop it out?
Matthew Amster-Burton 12:17
I think so. Yeah. And the fact that it was like green pesto colored kind of made it worse because you couldn't distinguish even between the mold and the food.
Molly 12:25
Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Yeah. Oh, that's so gross. So gross.
Matthew Amster-Burton 12:30
So I don't I think we don't get this product anymore. I remember really liking it. I don't know if they still have it. But I think we may have stopped getting it after that. Yeah,
Molly 12:38
yeah. Or maybe I don't know if you ever get it again. Don't do it in the rice cooker. Thanks. I feel like the rice cooker is this beautiful device that also is kind of I don't know like a Fixodent and forget it kind of thing. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like it's
Matthew Amster-Burton 12:57
like an incubator. That's right of, of delicious rice but also 1000s of species of micro organisms. Alright, what do you got?
Molly 13:06
Okay, well, so one thing that I've got is oh my god okay, cucumbers. Yes. As we're recording this we're in CSA season. We're recording this episode in July everybody Matthew and I are like so on top. Oh, yeah.
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:22
What what? When does this episode air October 3. Wow. Okay,
Molly 13:29
well, anyway kookiest month possess foods in the spookiest Anyway, okay, but yeah, inevitably, at least a couple times a year. I accidentally liquefy a cucumber. Oh, yes. In my crisper drawer. And it is. I don't understand what it is that makes it do
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:55
that. Yeah, it seems like we should know the answer. But we don't.
Molly 14:00
I mean, it could just mold but it doesn't know it like fully. It's like it just lumps. It's it's slumps. I was gonna say it's like it begins. Whatever happens to a caterpillar and a chrysalis. It begins to do that and maybe if I left a butterfly Yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:22
so this I feel like this is a particular like because when you get if you get like like American style supermarket cucumbers, those are waxed and are fairly durable. But they're also not very good off right right. So so I always get either like the English cucumbers that are plastic wrapped or the Persian cucumbers which are usually sold out like like in a little bag or a tray. And those are so perishable and the thing that really gets me is like there is a stage you get to well before they actually slippery where they're slippery. I hate that
Molly 14:52
turned into like the the ol like slippery banana or wet willy or whatever they
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:56
do a wet willy Yeah.
Molly 14:58
You even imagine just like Just like
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:01
cucumber guts. Yeah, like it turns inside. Oh, it's
Molly 15:04
so bad and that part happens really fast really
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:07
fast. Do
Molly 15:07
you immediately throw them out when that happens? No, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:11
can't handle it. No, I can't either. Like and like, Have you ever like tasted one when it gets to the stage? Because like it just, like funky. It does like Like, like, like, too weak. No, not like that like a good fermented pickle flavor like, like a mildewy flavor.
Molly 15:27
Oh no, I don't think I've ever tasted mildew. Where
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:30
you've got it's the best. Okay, I'll make your salad breaks.
Molly 15:34
It's shocking to me how often and maybe this is like a because of the climate of where we live. I am continually stunned by how often people reek of mildew like their clothing pool. Yes. Have you noticed this? No. I think I'm very very sensitive. Okay actually visited I will admit if you leave your clothes in the in the washer for even a second to lie I have
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:00
I have like a winter parka that is not super waterproof. And like I'll wear it in the rain. And then I'll smell like wet dog afterwards. And probably that jacket just kind of always smell it kind of smells like that. Oh, i
Molly 16:13
i It For Me like the smell of wet or what I associate with the smell of wet dog is like a wet wool kind of smell. Yeah, no, this is worse than that. This is Oh my god, the smell of mildew. I cannot handle it. So I can't even imagine eating it.
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:28
Okay, well. I mean, I think we're doing some pretty upsetting things here.
Molly 16:33
Okay, your turn. My turn. Okay,
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:35
so this one this one is pretty benign, but but like I do love encountering a sprouted potato like especially like when either so some of my favorites are like when it's when it's like wildly sprouted or when you have like a bag of small potatoes and they fall sprouted and it just forms like a mash. Oh, I've never let them go that far. Like yeah, it's the
Molly 16:57
best does it do you feel like it's forming some sort of network of of vines and roots?
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:04
Yeah, it's like, like a wild micro
Molly 17:06
work. What is it? My
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:10
oh my Celia. I thought you're gonna say rhizome.
Molly 17:16
Yeah, yeah. potatoes,
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:18
potatoes. They formed them i mycelium. That's like all the potatoes. Talk to the all the other potatoes. Yeah, in the crisper drawer. You put your potatoes in the fridge? I guess I know. I
Molly 17:29
have no. I do put potatoes in the fridge because I think they keep longer in there. I put them in. I bet you're right. Put them in a brown paper bag in the crisper drawer. Yeah, no, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:39
keep russet potatoes in the in the root cellar, which is what I call my cabinet. And like Yukon gold potatoes, which I buy a lot like I kind of never know whether those are better off in the fridge or the root cellar.
Molly 17:52
I don't I don't know, either. But maybe you're eating them faster than Yeah, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:56
think usually I mean except so either eat them fast or I forget about them. And then I opened the cupboard and there's a new life for
Molly 18:03
you've got like, I don't know, like fishnet pantyhose with, like potatoes attached to them. Well,
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:12
I mean that yes, but that's a separate thing we'll talk about later
Molly 18:25
okay, my mom came over last week, she was gonna watch Ames for a little while. She came over with this little sandwich baggie with some tortilla chips in it, okay. And she was like, I hate when people say this. She's like, I think these tastes weird. I need you to taste.
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:41
You need that. Here's the thing, people if you think something tastes weird, it's okay to just get rid of it.
Molly 18:48
So she brought me like a little like a little sample bag. From this bag of tortilla chips. She had just brought home from the grocery store. And I tasted one and the oil was like so rancid. I mean, the the chips were rancid through and through. And I was like, Oh yeah, Mom, you gotta just you gotta throw that out. But anyway, it's so gross the flavor of rancid oil.
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:11
Oh boy, we're getting there in a minute. Believe me. It's so easy for oil
Molly 19:15
to turn ranch. Oh two I'm kind of amazed in retrospect that we don't encounter this more often. In like fried, you know, packaged Yeah, and things like that.
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:26
I mean, I think like in like kind of big, big brand name packaged foods, they probably use a lot of like, random rancidity inhibitors like like preservatives that are specifically designed to avoid that because it was so bad. Also, like, if you're asking me like this tastes weird. You try it. Like what if the person says it tastes fine to me? What do you do then? Like, okay, great. I'm gonna eat these chips that I thought tasted weird. Like,
Molly 19:49
it is weird. I know. There was a little part of me that was like, Mom, what did you think you were going to achieve with?
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:57
Like, Yep, yeah, okay. I Got a real bad one here. Okay. Okay. Moldy onions when they rot from the inside and turn black.
Unknown Speaker 20:06
Oh yes,
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:07
I think this is one of the worst smells you can possibly first of all you can like put your hand in and grab an onion and your thumb like digs into it and then it releases a stench like just an unbearable overpowering stench it
Molly 20:23
is a really bizarre like blend of rot and onion,
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:28
right because onions like onion smell good, but this is like, you know, they they smell good. But But like, you know, strong and this goes like over the line into you know, onion but wrong. And
Molly 20:40
God forbid you should do something like I've done many a time, which is buy like a bag of onions and Grocery Outlet or something. Yeah, thinking like, oh, I always need onions. And then half of them turn out to be filled with stench and rot. Yep. Yeah. Yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:58
that's, that is like one of my like, there was one particular one. I couldn't tell you exactly when it happened. But like, I just remember like, sort of like feeling like nervous to to, like, use an onion or walk into the kitchen like first.
Molly 21:12
Oh, wow. Sounds Have you gone to a therapist.
Matthew Amster-Burton 21:18
Therapist, but we didn't. You know, we didn't talk about the onion thing. And I think I think maybe that explains Oh,
Molly 21:26
yeah, yeah. Okay.
Matthew Amster-Burton 21:28
I feel like yeah, if I if I like, you know, if I brought up the onion thing, like the therapist would have said, like, why didn't you Why didn't you mention this on day one? Yeah,
Molly 21:35
no, it would have illuminated so many things about your particular psyche. Okay, so hummus, especially if you buy like so you know, there's like Sabra hummus or like Trader Joe's hummus. They're all quite good, but they also taste very different from homemade hummus, right? PCC are sort of like local Co Op thing here in Puget Sound, they make a quite good hummus. And you know, sell it in like a little deli container kind of thing anyway, but one reason that you can tell that they're actually making it on site and that it's very fresh is that it also goes bad much faster than, you know the mass market brands anyway. And when it goes bad, you can almost tell by looking at it faster than you can by tasting it. It starts getting these like air holes in it. Like you can verify. It's like It's like it like starts fizzing almost. Wow. I mean, I'm sure it's just fermentation. But like, oh, you can really see it. It gets this almost like weird, airy whipped looking.
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:45
Yeah, no, that reminds me this is not on my list. But Ella knows yogurt or like local Greek yogurt brand, which is very good. And I was like a real homemade quality to it. Also, like goes You don't even think really about yogurt going bad but this one sure does. Oh, it does. Oh yeah. I've never had it go back. Yeah, like, you know, four or five days maybe if it's if it's open. Yeah, okay. Okay. Not not if it's sealed, okay. Like because we used to get it like like kind of hand scooped at the farmers market back when they were a stand at the farmers market and it was great, but you had to eat it quick. Yeah,
Molly 23:17
that makes sense. Okay. Here's
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:19
one that that like was just a moment I will never forget which was our friend friend of the show. Neil Robertson. Now retired an excellent pastry chef and former owner of crumble and flake in Seattle and and pastry chef of some great restaurants in Seattle. In the past, he many years back, went to to Las Vegas to apprentice and learn pastry. And so he was cleaning out his apartment on Capitol Hill in Seattle. And like, we went over and he's like, you know, I got a bunch of food like, you know, do you guys do you guys want to like, scavenge my food that I was going to throw away? And we're like, yeah, we'll take free food from from a serious food person. And we got a lot of good stuff. And one point he reached in the fridge is like, Oh, I got a tub of masker poan you guys like that stuff? Right? And like yeah, I love masker fried it opens it and like just solid green. Oh, wow. Just like everyone's ah,
Molly 24:17
there is something about about the color of mold on dairy products. Especially it's like so shocking. Yeah. Whereas for instance, when I open up a jar of jam that's got a little bit of mold growing like along the wall of the jar, something that's just sort of fuzzy. Yeah, first it doesn't have that same like lurid
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:38
Do you like remove the mat of mold and like take some jam out and put them all back? Like like you were accused of doing at that restaurant in LA? Yeah. Oh
Molly 24:46
my god. I forgot about that. I forgot about that. Honestly, I might. I would. I would remove a little bit of mold at home. Yeah. And carry on. Okay. I would not sell that. Product though. No, but like if my jam had like a little blip of fuzzy stuff on the wall of the jar, I would just scrape that
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:08
off and how big is a blip? Is blip a technical term?
Molly 25:11
I'd say size of a dime or small. Okay, yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:14
you heard it here.
Molly 25:15
Yep. Another thing that I've got on the on my mind speaking of the stench of rotting onions I know we've talked about this before but we cannot have a discussion of possessed foods without talking about the smell of the tiller muck cheese wrapper.
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:32
Okay, you put this on the agenda and like I don't think I've ever noticed we talked we talked this
Molly 25:37
before you know so when you get like your your Tiller macmini Low that's like wrapped in that like heavy duty baby love yes baby low Yeah, we go so I always pull back the you know the plastic stuff and leave it oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute, this smell oh, wait a minute. Now I know why you're blinking on this. Okay, because it's not the issue is not the plastic wrap. Okay, the plastic wrap actually keeps it from smelling. Okay, but if you unwrap the the baby lo which I've which I've done many many times and then put it let's say in like a Ziploc bag, which I do all the time back will instantly begin to smell like feet. And like not not like I mean I've got like a smelly Vermont Creamery cheese in a tupperware in my fridge right now. That is the smell of like a good cheese that's just stinky. This is like horrendous like I can't even
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:38
I don't think this bothers me. Okay, wait what?
Molly 26:42
Okay, go get your Tiller muck baby loaf.
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:45
Open. Let's
Molly 26:46
see. Maybe I'm keeping my baby loves longer than you. So
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:50
I have this but I don't know if this is going to be one that's in that's in a like a Tupperware
Molly 26:56
Oh, this is heading in that direction. But it's not really there yet. Okay,
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:59
yeah, I mean, I do smell like like, funky funky cheesy smell but
Molly 27:04
like God no, it gets so much worse than that. Okay, we
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:07
do have like an extra sharp baby love but it's we haven't opened it yet.
Molly 27:11
Well, so my feeling is when I open a baby love I need to keep all exposed parts of the cheese covered with that original plastic wrapping the like the one that's that's almost like heat sealed on. Oh, yeah.
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:27
So do you like tape it on? Or like tie it on with twine? Oh, totally. Yeah.
Molly 27:31
Now, scotch tape. Although Yeah, no, I just always like really fold the wrap special tape that sticks to cheese. I just fold over the wrapper and then put it in a Ziploc bag and kind of neatly fold the ziplock bag around it. So that the original wrapping stays where I want it. Okay,
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:50
so I'm wondering like, is this a thing where we're smelling the same thing but it doesn't bother me or is it a thing where you can smell it? And I can't like like with the asparagus pee?
Molly 27:59
Can you not smell it?
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:00
No, no, I can. I know there are some people.
Molly 28:03
Matthew, I'm just wondering if maybe it takes me longer to go through a baby loaf than it does
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:09
you? Maybe but like it certainly can take us weeks like can take me yes too. So I don't know. Maybe
Molly 28:16
Maybe it doesn't bother you but to me it's like I mean, it isn't offensive cheese smell not just like a strong cheese smell. All right, listeners. I want to hear from you. Yeah, you've noticed this if you've like unwrapped your Tilak baby loaf.
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:31
Yeah, listeners listeners who by this very specific size of a particular brand of cheese. I know you're out there. Oh, you're too popular out there. A lot of you are out there. This one goes out to our baby loves Yeah,
Molly 28:42
it does. All right, baby. Okay,
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:46
so I want to Okay, this one. This one is a real like family like, you know, event that occurred. I was not actually here when it happened, but boy did I hear about it when I got home. So there used to be a product called Nabisco famous chocolate wafers. It is now discontinued and it was the cookies that you use to make an icebox cake. So they were the hot ones see where this is thin chocolate wafer cookies that you would cover with whipped cream and like sprinkles or flavorings and and put in the fridge and then they would soften and it would turn into a cake. Very tasty. They don't make them anymore. And one day December and Laurie were like we Hey, there's some there's like oh partially open, you know partially use container of chocolate wafers in the cupboard. Let's make an icebox cake and December's, like, great. Like I'm gonna I'm gonna crunch into one of these cookies because like, you know, why not eat a cookie while we're making this cake and they took a bite and they had gone so rancid that like, the way they tell it like like December like ran ran to the sink and leg exploded. Like I said it was and if you ask them, they will say it is by far the worst thing they've ever tasted. That's so
Molly 29:57
interesting. Yeah. And also I'm so relieved that I thought that you were gonna say they made the icebox then that would have been worse and then discovered that it was rancid. Can you even imagine in the dire rancid icebox cake? I
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:11
was so upset about it I clung to my headphones into the microphone. Okay, you know, I have to say I kind of wish I didn't hear a to like see the the reaction and be like, I would have tasted it.
Molly 30:24
You would have? Yeah, you would like Oh, wow. Okay.
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:27
I mean, like, like, generally speaking, like, we talked about this a minute ago, but like, but But you know, you did try the chip. So like, you know, I feel like I am the kind of person who if someone says this, this tastes weird. You try it. I'd be like, okay. Even though even though I think it's a dumb thing to do, I'd usually just throw it out. Like, I'd be like, Okay, I'll try it. I don't want to be left out.
Molly 30:48
Where were you?
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:49
Where was where it was? How dare I not?
Molly 30:51
What the hell are you doing?
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:53
Yeah, I was probably like, I've galavanting out on one of my adventures. Have you
Molly 30:58
ever had a food that has been ruined for you by either food poisoning or the fact that you you just maybe got a stomach bug right after? So I've
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:07
had food ruined for me for that reason. And because I like beet into a spoiled version of it. Oh,
Molly 31:15
okay. What was what did you bite in? Okay,
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:18
this one is was so upsetting. Like, I genuinely don't like to think about it. But let's talk about it for the show. Okay, I went to a local local chain bakery. And I which I won't name which one? I got this. This pastry that was like, kind of a like lip rolls or like the size of a hotdog bun. With peanut flavored whipped cream, like peanut butter flavored whipped cream in the middle. So like, like a, like a sweet sandwich type of type of pastry. And I bit into it, and there was mold in the middle. Oh, like visible? Like a suit? Yes, it was I took a look. Absolutely. But like I tasted it before I saw isn't it interesting? How
Molly 31:58
mold really tastes like blue cheese? Yes. It's so interesting. Like, like, I've tasted it, you know, with sandwich bread. Like,
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:06
it was like a suit. Like, oh, no, this is wrong. And like, they still sell the same thing. And like, I hope they you know, immediately when I told them about it, they like, you know, refunded me and like threw away all the other ones like, you know, to their credit. And I hopefully they've like fixed the problem that caused that. But they still saw that same thing. I really liked it. And I have not gotten it since and probably never will.
Molly 32:27
Even if you what if you cut it up with a knife and fork? Or would that just ruin the texture? I
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:32
just don't want to like, it's not even that I'm worried that it will happen again, because it probably won't. It's that like, you know, amygdala like reptile brain like, like, you know, you're doing the thing that got you in trouble last time. Don't do that. Yeah,
Molly 32:47
yeah. I remember having food poisoning. Gosh, this was in the duplex that Brandon and I lived in until 2011. And I remember there was this great restaurant on the app that we had gone to a number of times inexpensive, super delicious food. On that particular occasion we had I don't remember what we had ordered, except we had also ordered a scallion pancake with a Chinese scallion pancake and it was so delicious and like, layered and flaky. And anyway, I got sick that night, whether it was from the restaurant or from a virus, I have no idea. But it was I mean, this was 13 years ago, it was years before I could even think about a scallion pancake from anywhere. I was fortunate it was a good while and the other thing that was really sad and this is like a really like a special problem to have is that I think it was in the fall. And I had bought myself for my birthday like some sort of expensive scented candle. And it was on the back of the toilet. And yeah, I see where this has gotten really I could just never smell it again. Oh yeah, good. Never could get near it again. And this was like a big special birthday purchase my stupid scented candle that I then was loathe to even think about. Yeah, of
Matthew Amster-Burton 34:11
course. Yeah, I have a couple like that. Like one was when I was a kid maybe like 11 I like puked up a bunch of chicken fajitas and couldn't couldn't handle chicken fajitas for a long time after that. I think I'm fine with them now. And then the other one which was like a weird one was that like I went I got really really sick in Japan with norovirus the thing like I did a bunch of things that day is like who knows like I think I do know which thing it actually was but like the last thing I ate before I got sick was kamaboko which is a type of like smooth fish cake and like and like doesn't really have like much it's kind of just a texture food and like doesn't really even have much flavor. But like to this day like I like when I look at you know combo bubblegum like that's That's the big i right before like, right before you destroyed a bathroom for three days.
Molly 35:09
Ah, well so so these foods I mean, I guess they fit in this episode because they temporarily possessed us. Exactly. Yeah, I mean they like held us in their grip it was that kind of possession No,
Matthew Amster-Burton 35:20
I mean like if the if the devil was real like probably like, you know, norovirus Yeah, it'd be like just giving you giving you like norovirus just just for fun. Yeah.
Molly 35:30
That seems like something he would do. Yeah, if he were real. Speaking of which, I keep looking at a book right behind your head, the Devil's Food Dick show. It's
Matthew Amster-Burton 35:38
a delightful book by local local author, Barry de Foix. I don't I don't actually why do I say I don't even know if that's his middle initial. Boy. Sounds good, though. Right? Yeah, it's not the very Vator change your middle name. It's a really funny book. I don't know if it's still in print. But it's called the Devil's Food dictionary. And it's just like a bunch of joke definitions of culinary terms. Delightful.
Molly 36:02
Well, Matthew, do we have any spilled mail today?
Matthew Amster-Burton 36:06
We do. And I'm really excited about this one.
This is from listener Hondo. And there's a variation of the same question at the end by listener Jeff. Hi host Matthew and Molly. This is listener Hondo nicknamed, not real name longtime listener since the scary food episode. I was also the listener on Reddit that drew you guys eating Udaan and Matthew said you guys may do and it would on episode we did. My question is what would be your dream restaurant it can either be a place you want to own or eat at. For example, mine to eat out would be an owner Gaetti slash wagashi Japanese confection shop that serves a rotating selection of rice balls and Japanese sweets. The interior would be retro chic with illustrations of their food, the shop would be called wagyu at portmanteau of Wagga Shi and odd, which went red walk up I was like, oh, Japanese style obligations. That's a joke for very few listeners. But some love the show and look forward to the answers. And also listener Jeff wrote to ask the same question but specified what restaurant would Molly and Matthew open together? Okay, so like you have to you have to sort of decide, like, you know, how much of this how much reality to allow into your fantasy here, I guess? And my answer is almost none. Like it's gonna be pure. Like, I'm not taking into account any of the many negative things about running a restaurant. Okay.
Molly 37:30
Okay, so what's your restaurant?
Matthew Amster-Burton 37:31
Okay, so I was I really like spent a bunch of time thinking about this, because Lori and I have been watching season three of the bear, and are about halfway through it. And so the thing I realized is like, I think my dream restaurant is the opposite of the restaurant on the show, which is like a very, like high intensity fine dining restaurant. The thing I came up with is my dream restaurant is a vernacular restaurant. And I don't know, why do you mean, I don't know, if I made this term up. I did forgot to Google it. I'm sure I didn't I'm sure you can find other people talking about. But like, the kind of restaurant I would like to own and I will get specific in a minute is like a restaurant that you would classify as obviously a particular type of restaurant that you would find in a particular place that doesn't have anything special about it, except that the food is really good versions of that local food. And the proprietor is nice and makes you laugh. Okay, so not it's not a restaurant where like, you know, you have to go wait in line and try the specific dish they have. It's not an exciting restaurant in any way. It's just a very comforting restaurant, because you know, they will deliver exactly the food and experience that you're looking for. And it's going to be relaxing. All right. So I would say the food the food is going to be kind of uncreative. It's going to be, you know, very good versions of dishes you've had before, there's gonna be a couple of really good desserts. It's not going to be an especially popular restaurant, you know, it's getting by but it's always easy to get a table. It's not like a special event to eat there. The decor is homey. I don't really think much about decor, but like, I want some I want some wood in there. The staff are like incredibly scrupulously trained in customer service at like, you know, fine dining restaurant levels even though it's not a fine dining restaurant. And I think sort of what I'm imagining is the place from the Japanese TV series midnight diner where people kind of come in and can order like you know mentioned any any well known food and the and the owner will make it and do a really good job of it
Molly 39:39
shopsin's had elements shops, like
Matthew Amster-Burton 39:42
a great diner Yeah.
Molly 39:46
Basically they can make whatever you need. Yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 39:49
where it's like you look at the restaurant, you look at the name and you know what's going to be on the menu, okay? And like the place the a place that I think about all the time as like kind have a perfect restaurant for me, that just always makes me happy is in Japan Of course, it's called Yoda no taki and it is a big chain of Isa kayas. But I'm thinking about the location in nice Yogi Kubo. And it's just like a little sliver of a restaurant with some booths. You know, they've they have specialized in chicken wings, but they also have a million other things on the menu and all of them are at least pretty good. And just like, I feel like they're, it's hard to imagine, like any time that I was hungry, and if you said to me, let's go to yoga and Otaki, I would say, Let's go somewhere else. I would be happy to go there, like five nights in a row. How about you? And then we have to come up with together so
Molly 40:38
my answer is not nearly as thorough. I have some sort of like half formed. Yeah, no, that's good. One is, I would love and I don't mean this as like a brag, but I know how to cook the food that I want to eat a lot of the time. So I would really like there to be a restaurant where I can eat foods that tastes exactly like I made them. Oh, interesting. Okay, like, but I don't have to make them. Okay. I like that. And yeah, that's really interesting.
Matthew Amster-Burton 41:08
I'm trying to think about whether whether I want that or not. Yeah,
Molly 41:11
no, it was the first thing that came to mind for me. But then the truth is, like, I think about, I don't know, the grilled cheese the way that I make it. Well, the truth is, there are grilled cheeses elsewhere that I probably am not thinking of right now, that would be even better than that. But no, I want a restaurant that's going to make all the things that I you know, maybe cook over the course of a year or a season or whatever. And it's going to taste exactly like it would if I made it because the other thing is like if Ash cook something that I usually make well, Ash has their own dishes that they cook because in some ways I don't want them to cook. The things I usually cook because it's not going to taste right. Right. Then my other thought, however, is I remember Brandon and I talking or maybe it was you and me talking about a restaurant that would just serve sort of our ideal version of a number of different things.
Matthew Amster-Burton 42:04
Yeah. So that's the one that's that's how we should answer Jeff's question.
Molly 42:09
Yeah, yeah. So, you know, like, I think that the meatballs at Cafe, Lago and Seattle are perfect, but I would like them with Marcela Hassan's tomato sauce, right. So my ideal restaurant would serve spaghetti and meatballs like that. They would serve? I don't know, and any number of others, like the perfect version of these various things, but at the same time, I haven't really thought to the degree that you have about what it would feel like to go there.
Matthew Amster-Burton 42:40
Well, but I think yeah, I think if you and I were actually going to open a restaurant together like a fantasy restaurant where we don't have to deal with like, you know, staffing and late nights and there I hear there are some like downsides to running a restaurant, or whatever. Like, I feel like it would be like rustic Italian or country French. Yeah, something like I think it'd be rustic Italian. Yeah, yeah. I think like, you know, it's something everybody likes, like you, you and I could like, together come up with a great menu of like, and like, you know, whether we cooked it ourselves or not like we would know exactly how we want it to be, huh,
Molly 43:12
uh huh.
Matthew Amster-Burton 43:13
Yeah. No,
Molly 43:14
I mean, I think that I think in some ways, like the reason why, like, I think about a place like Chez Panisse, for instance, have you ever been there ever been? I've never worked past it. I've never eaten in like the downstairs part. That is Chez Panisse. I've only eaten in the cafe upstairs. But I wonder if like, I mean, obviously, it has this amazing story behind it. But also they cook a lot of shit that people just like to eat. Yeah. And they do their own like very good version of it, like pizza or a really good steak and fries. A really good burger. It's interesting. When you really look at like, what's on the shape. Penny's Cafe menu, for instance, it is in some ways, sort of like rustic Italian rustic French meats. Yeah. Good American.
Matthew Amster-Burton 43:58
And we would we would have which shape nice, obviously also had like great vegetable dishes. Oh, yes,
Molly 44:03
yes. But there I think we'd have to borrow some flavors from Asia as well. It's gonna get complicated. I'm really glad we don't have to actually do. Thanks a lot,
Matthew Amster-Burton 44:12
Jeff. Yeah, that episode was fun. Thank you, listener, Hondo listener, Jeff and listener Colton, for making that happen. And thank
Molly 44:20
you host Matthew for being willing to relive some difficult YouTubes
Matthew Amster-Burton 44:24
Yeah, man, that fucking peanut pastry thing. That was a bad day.
Molly 44:30
Well, thanks, Abby, sir. Catella for being our producer. Molly's
Matthew Amster-Burton 44:34
got a got a newsletter called I've got a feeling that you can sign up for it. Molly Weisenberg. Got substack.com and I recommend that you do.
Molly 44:42
Oh, thank you. Matthew makes music that you can listen to everywhere you can possibly listen to music,
Matthew Amster-Burton 44:48
in your house, in your bathroom, in your basement. Like out behind your house, which some people call a backyard. He
Molly 44:55
is part of a project called early to the airport. You guys just released some music earlier this year. I think
Matthew Amster-Burton 45:02
so by the time you hear this I hope so we're getting we're getting really close to record this. The only person who can stop us now the devil, please rate and review us wherever you get your podcast and please hang out with other spilled milk listeners and talk about your terrifying possessed food experiences at everything spilled milk.reddit.com And until next time thank you for listening to spilled milk. I'm Beelzebub and I'm it's got to be some other good devil nicknames like to think of like,
Molly 45:31
have you seen The Exorcist?
Matthew Amster-Burton 45:32
I have seen the exorcist. What
Molly 45:34
did they call it in? There was one that was like,
Matthew Amster-Burton 45:37
it wasn't the devil that was like a particular demon. It was like Zeus Zeus. Sorry, czars. Well, that's a that's a food.
Molly 45:46
And I'm Molly.
Matthew Amster-Burton 45:47
Okay, bye
Molly 45:57
I'm Matthew, and I can't hear you and my headphones.
Matthew Amster-Burton 46:00
Phooey. Let's see why. Okay, it's not that. Is that better? Yeah,
Molly 46:06
you're a little loud.
Matthew Amster-Burton 46:08
Let's turn. How about how's that? That's good.
Molly 46:11
Okay, okay.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai