Matthew is very afraid because we're talking cold, creamy and savory today. And also because there's a horny ghost about. Mollthew discuss this mildly interesting topic, sneak in a Singles quote and become desperate for validation from teenagers. Lesson Learned: If give a man a dude ranch he's going to want a steakhouse.
Matthew's Now but Wow! - Chop Fry Watch Learn by Michelle T. King
What She Put on the Table Netflix Series
Molly 0:04
Hi, I'm Molly,
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:05
and I'm Matthew.
Molly 0:05
And this is spilled milk, the show where we cook something delicious, eat it all, and you can't have any.
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:11
And today we're talking ranch dressing.
Molly 0:15
Matthew is afraid.
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:17
Okay, so let yeah, let's get that out of the way. First. First of all, this was suggested by listener Phoebe. Thank you. I thank listener Phoebe.
Molly 0:24
And just for any listeners who may have forgotten, like I sometimes forget, Matthew is really scared of condiments, yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:32
but it's not, it's not exactly condiments, right? Because you love hot sauce. I love hot sauce. I love barbecue sauce. I don't like ketchup or mustard, which I know is weird, but ranch dressing is kind of a different thing. It's that I can't think of any food I like that is creamy, savory and cold, like any two of those. Yeah, I can be down with that, but all three of them totally skives me out. Okay, let's
Molly 0:57
think about it, creamy and savory, yeah? So that could be like a, like, a potato leek soup, yeah? Love of potato Lee. So, okay, what about savory and cold? Savory and cold salad?
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:07
Yeah? Like a salad,
Molly 1:09
yeah? What about cold and creamy? The other
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:13
day, I can't think of any other day, and I won't name names. We like, like, I never like to Yuck, someone's yum or vice versa. But I heard about someone who didn't like whipped cream, and I'm like, that is the weirdest thing I've ever heard.
Molly 1:26
Yeah, that is weird. That is weird, although, like,
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:30
to me, that seems weirder than not liking ice cream, huh?
Molly 1:33
I think whipped cream is sort of in a strange category. It's like, not really cold, yeah? It's like a room temperature creamy thing, sort of, I mean, even when it is freshly chilled, it's not hair, yeah. Okay, so it's kind of temperature wise. I think it's a little
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:49
weird. Okay, so anyway, I do like cold, creamy, sweet things, but cold, creamy, savory. I can't do it. I don't know why.
Molly 1:55
And so this would be mayonnaise, creamy dressing, yeah?
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:59
Like, potato salad, yeah? Macaroni salad, Corona salad, salad. No, thanks. I can't think of anything else, but there it's out there. There's more. Yeah, okay, waiting to strike. But we have to do this, because this is, like, one of America's favorite foods, and by extension, probably to become one of the world's favorite foods. I don't have any evidence, one way or the other on that, and I did the research, but, well,
Molly 2:23
I'm just really glad that you love Canada so much, because after this episode, you may be deported. Oh,
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:31
like, if I could be deported to Canada. Like, is there some way we can make this what do I have to say to get like, like, canceled by America, but welcomed with open arms by Canada, like we're just gonna wave, like a whole immigration procedure. Hey, set you up in a
Molly 2:49
this was, this was a stupid bit. I started, no, didn't play out. Are you kidding?
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:55
I thought I was running with it. No, you are. You are actually okay? So what's your memory lane? Because mine is just fear. Although I love, I love ranch flavored things to be clear, ranch powder on things completely on board. Cool Ranch Doritos, one of my favorite foods.
Molly 3:10
Yeah, so Cool Ranch Doritos. You know, when I was walking down my own memory lane, it took me a minute to arrive at Cool Ranch Doritos, because I think so much about so when I think of ranch, I think first of the cold, creamy, savory stuff. Of course, I think of like the advent of salad bars, which honestly probably predates me. But I think of salad bars as being something that started showing up everywhere, yeah, like, when, when I was a kid,
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:40
if you if you say, like, like, what you know, I say salad bars. What era, what decade,
Molly 3:45
I say salad bar. You say, where salad bar
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:51
gipsy just rallies my zippers down. Okay? Just like spontaneously popped up. There's a lot, I think the show might be haunted by like, like a mischievous, horny ghost. Um, what were we talking about? Okay, so, so what I was trying to say was, like, what, what decade do you associate with salad bars? Obviously, 1980s Yeah, right, yes. Okay, specifically,
Molly 4:19
I know I've mentioned this before, but what I always think of is the salad bar at the Wendy, of course, on 63rd Street in Oklahoma. That is
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:28
exactly where I went first went also not necessarily the one in Oklahoma, on 63rd Street in Oklahoma City, but yes, of course, the Wendy's salad bar was
Molly 4:36
classic, and I very, very clearly remember getting salads they are probably mostly iceberg, because as a kid, I really only liked the crunchy parts of lettuce. Oh yeah. So I would have been like anti like mescaline mix, for instance. And would you get ranch? So I would get a salad that was like crunchy stuff, and like peas, which are always icy cold at a salad crunch. Stuff.
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:00
The thing you have a song about, no, that's
Molly 5:02
chunky. Chunky stuff. Okay, chunky stuff. Anyway, that's, that's a song we made up about the way that Ash makes instant ramen. Okay, ramen, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:15
don't think I realized it was related to that. How is that chunky? So
Molly 5:19
ash likes to make instant ramen, and then pour some of the liquid off so it's sort of like concentrated broth and noodles, and then they stir a couple eggs in there, but ash doesn't stir them in, like, meticulously, the way that you do for egg drops ash, like, stirs them in so that they're kind of chunky. Okay? And I'm down. I'm not down with that, all right, so let's hear the song, chunky stuff swirling it inside my bowl. Chunky stuff. It goes on and on. There's
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:49
a line that rhymes with bowls.
Molly 5:53
Meeting all my fitness goals. No, I don't know. Um,
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:00
yeah, we both need to chunk up. No,
Molly 6:02
my lunch goals, chunky stuff. It's got a little bit of a uptight.
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:11
Everything is all right,
Molly 6:16
actually, now that I've done all this talking about it, I wonder if it was about a pureed soup that has, Oh, wow. For some reason I'm thinking about, no, that is a moderate sized bowl of stuff, which is another
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:28
song. Okay, let's hear a moderate sized bowl of stuff,
Molly 6:34
Ash. And I have made recordings of all of these so that we don't forget. Are they on Spotify? No. Ash has them all on their phone, but it's, I want a moderate size. I want a moderate size. Bowl of stuff. I want a moderate size. I love it. Then somebody else joins in and it becomes a round.
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:58
This really speaks to me, because, like, as I've said before, like, whenever there are multiple sizes of something available, I always order the smallest one, because I've learned that anything other than the smallest one is going to be too big for me. Yeah. So I also want a moderate sized bowl of stuff. Yeah,
Molly 7:12
Ash was spooning up, I think, like, a spicy winter squash soup I had made, and I said I wanted a moderate sized bowl of stuff. And then we burst into song, yeah, no, that's beautiful. Thank you. Okay, so anyway, yeah, I think about crunchy lettuce, peas and ranch dressing.
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:27
Okay, can I maybe I'm curious in this like I'm I want to, you. Want to get it over I want to get the tasting over with, because I'm because I'm scared. So
Molly 7:34
the other thing I think about when I think about ranch dressing is my dad's potato salad, which is the recipe and the sort of opening of my first book, a homemade life.
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:47
Yeah, I like the flavor, and I just can't handle the cold, creamy texture. I know cold isn't a texture, but you know what I mean? No, I like the way, the way it just kind of like, now what if it sticks to every surface in my mouth? I don't know, like that still doesn't sound good. I
Molly 8:04
recently made a recipe that had you take kind of all the ingredients for Caesar salad and then serve it on pasta. And I thought I was gonna like it so much, but I discovered I didn't like those flavors hot.
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:15
Yeah, no, I don't think I like this hot like I do. I love fondue. So I do love, like, a hot, creamy dip, but that's more of a cheesy dip.
Molly 8:25
Oh, yeah. So you like fondue? Yeah, very much. Oh, savory, creamy, hot, right? You know, I could take this or leave it, yeah. I mean, I think I'd rather have a potato or, excuse me, a potato chip. I'd rather have a carrot stick dipped in blue cheese. Sure,
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:39
me too. And like, my god, wait, would
Molly 8:42
you eat blue cheese dressing? So
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:43
when I've been to Buffalo Wild Wings, for example, I will eat the blue cheese dressing. Because I love, I love blue cheese flavor. And, like, I think one of the things this is interesting, I feel like I'm making some progress here, like understanding myself and my and my weird versions. Like, one of the things about this is that, like, the flavor doesn't hit very hard, and so I'm left with sort of, like, just like this creamy ooze. If this were, like, super spicy, I think I might kind of like it. I agree with you. Like, I want something that, like, punches me with flavor right off the bat. That's what I want from a dip, in general, prepared
Molly 9:19
ranch dressing like as it comes in a bottle. To be clear, we got HVR here. The real stuff, it doesn't the flavor is not as strong as, for instance, the flavor of the ranch powder on Cool Ranch Doritos, right? And hold on, I'm about to have hidden valley ranch on some iceberg lettuce.
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:38
Yes, please do. I'll try it also. I'm a professional now,
Molly 9:42
I think this is better, because I also think this is better the vehicle that's carrying it to my mouth has less flavor, and a lighter like it has less impact, and
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:52
it kind of merges with the dressing more, as you would expect of a lettuce leaf compared to a carrot stick. Yeah, the kind of like pale green flavor. Or of iceberg, the PG, Africa,
Molly 10:04
okay, which I call this combination, a, p, y, t, pretty
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:08
young thing. Yeah, I would know why, but I would too for the sake of the bit. Yes, thank
Molly 10:16
you. Okay, so anyway, that's my my memory lane, my dad's ranch dressing, potato salad. Okay, so
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:23
after you finish eating that lettuce leaf, try this popcorn I made. I popped popcorn on the stove, and then I put hidden rally, hidden rally Ranch, Hidden Valley Ranch powder on it. You've made
Molly 10:36
popcorn with everyone in this city. What movie is that from singles? Yes, you've popped popcorn with half of this city. That's what it is. There we go. Debbie hunt,
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:49
yeah, when the bicycle guy was was popping popcorn with her roommate. Oh, that's good, right now
Molly 10:57
I feel like I could almost take a tiny bit more. That's why I brought it to the table. I
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:00
figured we would also just like taste the
Molly 11:03
powder. Now this really tastes like ranch and like popcorn.
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:10
What I'm saying is, this is why we're professional podcasts.
Molly 11:13
What I'm saying is like the carrot stick tasted like carrot and not like ranch. The iceberg tastes like iceberg with ranch. This tastes like popcorn with ranch, it feels like they're well suited. And
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:24
the carrot stick tasted more like carrot than like popcorn.
Molly 11:27
That's right, okay, all right, took me a minute. Yeah, okay,
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:31
so what is this stuff? You may ask yourself, I'm gonna tell you because I did the research. Wow. I
Molly 11:37
feel like we're at the movies. This is really scratching an itch and like, a couple of,
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:41
oh yeah, this is the popcorn with ranch powder. Is actually,
Molly 11:44
hold on, did you put anything else on this? Nothing, really. Maybe it's the buttermilk Tang. The
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:50
buttermilk Tang is a huge part of what Ranch is.
Unknown Speaker 11:53
Wow.
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:55
Yeah, Molly has taken ownership of this large bowl of popcorn.
Molly 12:00
I'm really pleased, because just last week, my son discovered how to shove popcorn in his mouth. Like, oh, sure. And the way,
Matthew Amster-Burton 12:08
a thing that someone your son's age should not eat. Oh,
Molly 12:11
he's, he's, he's fine, yeah, anyway,
Matthew Amster-Burton 12:16
like, I shut that one down. Wow, Matthew,
Molly 12:18
it's so interesting to me how cautious you are about some things.
Matthew Amster-Burton 12:22
I think this is like, everyone is, like, overly cautious about some things and not cautious enough about other things. That's true, right?
Molly 12:29
I've just never, I've not spent a lot of time worrying about my particular children choking, because I've spent a lot of time watching them eat. And therefore, I feel like I understand the things that that get them into trouble. Sure. For instance, I was riding a bus with Ames the other day, and I was trying to get him to bite dried apricots in half. So I was giving him, like, kind of big ones that were nice and soft, and he bit one in half. Well, then I gave him another one, and he shoved the whole thing in his mouth and then proceeded to choke on it on a public bus, sure, and I'm like, sticking my finger down his throat, etc. It was really fun. Yeah, yeah. Kids are great. But kids are it's so relaxing to ride busses with and do other things with.
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:14
So was he, Was he having this popcorn in a movie? Was
Molly 13:16
it the No, he's having this popcorn sitting on the kitchen floor with me. Oh,
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:19
I imagine, maybe he went to see the substance or something.
Molly 13:23
No, he's really get that name, right? He's really a dune popcorn bucket kind of kid. Oh, sure. Of course, loves sticking his hand down that big old tube. Did you ever see it in real life?
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:35
No, no, me. Neither did anyone.
Molly 13:37
I don't know.
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:39
Okay, yeah, so I still haven't seen that movie. Okay, wait, you still haven't seen dune? No,
Molly 13:44
oh my god, it's really good. I know I've actually watched it twice, and you know me, I haven't seen any movies.
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:50
It's true like, and you've watched Part One and Part
Molly 13:55
D, I haven't seen part do, yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:58
the truth comes out. Okay, so ranch dressing is made from buttermilk, mayonnaise, garlic powder, onion powder, mustard, herbs and spices. Like the key things there are, like the buttermilk and the herbs and maybe, maybe the garlic and onion powders.
Molly 14:15
Yeah, I can't imagine ranch without garlic or onion right?
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:19
But in practice, it's either a bottle dressing or made from a seasoning packet, packet. And even more, in practice, I don't imagine a lot of people are making the dressing from the seasoning packet. They're like, making it into a dip or using it in a recipe.
Molly 14:32
That seems right to me, yeah, because, like,
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:35
if you're buying a seasoning packet, the dressing is right there and doesn't cost anymore, pretty much. So
Molly 14:43
although I do wonder if it tastes better if you make it at
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:46
home. If that is a good question, because I guess you make it, what's
Molly 14:48
the what's the recipe on the back of the packet?
Unknown Speaker 14:50
Yeah, that's a good question.
Molly 14:52
Oh man. Oh yeah. Love this. All right, yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:57
there's a, first of all, there's a recipe on the back for original ranch. Pork chops, but fresh dressing directions, okay, first of all, seasoning directions, are you ready for this? Okay, shake on your favorite food. Oh, thanks, whoa. In a bowl combined one cup whole milk, one cup mayonnaise with contents of packet. Mick, well. Mick, well, cover and refrigerate. Chill 30 minutes to thicken, stir before serving. So I don't know if it's better. One
Molly 15:25
cup milk, one cup mayonnaise. That's it. Yeah, it seems like too much milk. I'd be curious if the texture would be more appealing. Maybe he has a certain like plastic quality to it, the bottled kind. Okay. Anyway, go on.
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:41
So the history of ranch dressing. Now, when I was prepping for this episode, a couple of people asked me, what, what episodes you're recording on your on your hit food podcast, spilled milk next week? And I said, Well, we're doing ranch dressing. Like a lot of people have been asking me this.
Molly 15:56
Oh, people ask me. People like, come to me in the grocery store we talk about dinner every night. And they
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:02
said, Does ranch dressing have an interesting story? And I said I would describe as mildly interesting, which may be an exaggeration, but I'll do my best. Okay. Okay, so this comes from from Wikipedia, the Hidden Valley website, and an article from quaintcooking.com that we'll link to. Ranch dressing was invented by Steven Henson in the early 1950s and Henson was a guy who ran a plumbing business, like a contracting business in Anchorage, Alaska, and allegedly created ranch dressing while preparing food for his work crews, which I was meeting. Is like, is the boss making like, salad dressing for for his plumbers.
Molly 16:42
Hold on, let me okay. I gotta think about this again. Okay, so he ran a plumbing business in Anchorage, and he created ranch dressing when preparing food for his work crews. Yeah.
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:52
So not, not like, not like household plumbing. I don't think plumbing in like, like industrial context, all right, all right, in the mid 50s, at age 35 the mid 50s before the salad bar was invented, oh, at age 35 Hansen retired from plumbing, which must be really nice to retire from plumbing. At age 35 moved to Santa Barbara with his wife, Gail, and they bought a dude ranch and changed the name to Hidden Valley Ranch. Don't know where the name came from. And they served the dressing at the ranch's steak house and sold it in jars for people to take home. Wait a minute, hold
Molly 17:26
up, there was a steak house. Wait, there was a dude ranch. There's a dude ranch, and it had a steakhouse, and it
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:32
had a steakhouse, and the steakhouse, this is like, if you give a mouse a cookie, you give if you give Steve a dude ranch, he's gonna build a steak house. And if you let him build a steakhouse, he's gonna sell salad dressing. Things
Molly 17:43
really get out of hand. If you give Steve a dude ranch, don't
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:47
do that, because it sets off. It sets off a lot of corporate history. In 1957 Henson began selling packets of ranch herbs and spices in grocery stores in the area. The ranch closed in the 1960s but the ranch dressing business raged on, mostly as a mail order business, and Hidden Valley opened a factory to serve the southwestern US market. In 1972 Clorox bought the Hidden Valley brand and took it nationwide. Wow, did you? Did you know Clorox was in the food business?
Molly 18:19
I didn't, but I mean, Clorox is now probably owned by somebody else, right? Or general proctor? Proctor, exam. Proctor, I can't keep it straight. Proctor, General Foods and Procter and Gamble, maybe
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:37
General Mills. No. General Foods and General Mills are both real. I wasn't correcting it. Oh, okay, okay. It's owned by Haley mills. One of Clorox is key innovations was adding buttermilk powder to the packet. So now you didn't need to buy buttermilk, which is more expensive and harder to find, than regular milk. I'm
Molly 18:57
intrigued that there was buttermilk powder at that point. I mean, I guess it's like, like, dried powdered milk or something, yeah, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:03
guess there was there, yeah, there was there was like, non fat, dry milk. So why not do the same thing to buttermilk? Yeah, yeah. Okay. And so not only did that mean you didn't need to buy buttermilk, but it also opened the door to ranch flavored things, because, as we discussed, the buttermilk powder is a huge part of the flavor of something that's ranch flavored. Ranch has been America's most popular salad dressing since at least the early 90s, and it's probably in the top five dipping sauces, although it depends how you measure. Okay, so like other other things in the top five, ketchup, mustard, barbecue sauce, salsa. Okay, this
Molly 19:38
makes sense, but
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:39
there may be more to this story. Ooh, where did a plumber in Alaska get this idea for ranch dressing? No idea. Well, Steve Henson was originally from the tiny town of Thayer Nebraska, and was a cowboy before moving to Alaska. Oh,
Molly 19:55
so here, here his dude ranch lineage. Right?
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:00
And before there was ranch there was buttermilk dressing, which originated in Texas in the 1930s or possibly earlier, and was basically ranch dressing, aha. So you take some, you take some buttermilk. It's already got, you know, it's creamy, it sticks to the sticks to your lettuce. It's already got some acidity to it. And then you add some, some salt and onion powder and herbs, and you've got a dressing. However, ranch, and particularly Hidden Valley Ranch, is much easier to market than buttermilk dressing. So this was probably like, it's not that he had, like, the best buttermilk dressing recipe, it's that he had the best marketing, which this was like, how a lot of things work. And now that brings us up to the present. Okay, great.
Molly 20:41
I'm gonna, I'm gonna work on this other wedge of iceberg here while you tell me about the ingredients in this stuff.
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:50
Okay, so what's in this packet? Yeah, let's start with the packet. Because, no surprise, the top ingredient by weight is maltodextrin, sugar thing, which, it's a sugar. Like, I thought it was funny, because, like, it's a thing, it's a thing that's in everything, but is rarely the first ingredient. But it is the first ingredient. So, maltodextrin, buttermilk, salt, MSG, garlic, onion, lactic acid, calcium, lactate, spices and artificial flavor and stabilizers and emulsifiers. Okay, no, that sounds really good. Yeah. So, yeah. So no wonder it's good. The bottled dressing, which we also have here, that's what we've been eating on our carrot sticks and lettuce sticks, vegetable oil, water, buttermilk, sugar, salt, and then less than 1% of spices, garlic, onion, vinegar, phosphoric acid, etc. Okay. So
Molly 21:47
okay, I'm gonna ask, actually, I'm crunching on a carrot, is the ranch powder that's in a packet like that you just put on the popcorn? Is that the same as what's on Doritos? Because I gotta say, Doritos have, like, even more, like, the flavor has more volume, yep.
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:05
Oh, I'm so glad you asked that. I was wondering the same thing. The answer is no. Cool Ranch Doritos and other ranch flavored chips and, like some other ranch flavored things, use a different formulation that also includes tomato and cheese powders. Oh, okay, okay, that makes sense. So that's it. That's everything I learned about ranch. So what do you do with ranch? Okay,
Molly 22:25
so a number of years ago, while we were camping or doing something outdoors, my friend Natalie made the ranch powder dip recipe. It's on the back of the packet of ranch powder, and it's like a pint of sour cream to one packet of ranch powder. But what she did a little bit differently was she graded like, maybe a third of an English cucumber into it, or maybe a whole one of those little Persian cucumbers. And so you get, you know, a little bit of a of the texture of the graded cucumber, but also it's sort of it's a subtle flavor, but it makes it so much tastier than just the ranch and sour cream, which, in and of themselves, are pretty darn tasty. Yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:10
that's No that sounds pretty good. Like I would try that. I
Molly 23:12
loved it so much that now it's kind of something that I am known for, even though it's Natalie's idea. I make it every time we go camping, and all the children on our camping trips always gather around and eat a ton of potato chips and vegetables dipped in this, like cucumber ranch dip. Nice.
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:32
It's like American Bania cowder,
Molly 23:36
exactly, exactly. That is what I do with ranch primarily, I have bought the the prepared dressing a couple times to make my dad's potato salad recipe, which I do love, but I feel like I kind of only need to make potato salad, like once a summer. Yeah. So I don't, I don't buy the I don't buy this product very much, except for making that dip.
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:00
Okay, so I don't buy it at all because I don't like it, but I did look up some uses for ranch. So, so one thing I think is interesting is that ranch has become kind of a required accompaniment to chicken wings and to, like, mass market delivery pizza that, like, you know, someone is going to want to dip their crusts in ranch. Probably the last person to know this, and this goes back further than I realized, because Domino's started selling ranch in 1994 Oh, wow. Okay, which is which when wife of the show, Lori, and I first met? Yeah, I was 16. You were 19. Yeah, you and I didn't know each other back. That's right. That's right. You can, you can use it as salad dressing, huh? You can use them, you know
Molly 24:40
what? Wait, I'm realizing that. Sorry, I didn't mean. But whenever I've used ranch dressing, you know, it tends to be at a situation where there's like, a salad bar, or, like, gosh, sometimes when I'm teaching, I'm in a place that has like, a buffet dinner, yeah, sure. And so I'm like, you know, spooning ranch dressing with, like, one of those long handled, little, tiny, Scoopy. Things. And I don't know that I've ever had a salad with ranch dressing where it was actually tossed with the ranch like that is an interesting point. Most of the contexts where we are offered ranch dressing are situations where you're not going to toss the salad, you're just blooping it on top of your raw vegetable and
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:18
that, yeah, that's something that like, I feel that, like, that's part of what I object to is like, I don't want, I don't want to see stuff blooped on. I want to see it mixed in.
Molly 25:27
I also wonder what it would taste like, like, given our experience here with the carrots today being almost too flavorful for the ranch, I wonder if the ranch was like, applied to the whole salad and tossed the way that, like,
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:41
a little paint brush and, like, paint it on all over the
Molly 25:44
if we would feel like there was enough ranch flavor. I mean, I wonder if part of what people love about Ranch is the flavor of it in abundance, maybe in, like, gloopy bloops.
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:55
Yeah, but, but, like, I'm just, I was, I'm just not, like a gloopy bloops person, and yet, like, I made a tiramisu recently that was, like, all gloop, and it was all good. Oh, yeah,
Molly 26:05
but that's different, because that's creamy and sweet, cold, creamy and sweet. I
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:09
want a savory tiramisu. Why do you keep trying to sell me a savory tiramisu? Terrible, right? But
Molly 26:16
when people were making savory oatmeal for a little while and writing up recipes for it, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:21
feel yes, that I don't want, although, like, oatmeal with with soy sauce, ginger and garlic, I gotta, like,
Molly 26:29
Okay, I mean, that's got almost like a congee vibe to it,
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:32
yeah? What I was gonna say, like, some of those, like, you know, regrettable food, like, dip, you know, X layer dips, like, that's sort of like a savory tiramisu, right? I guess there's no cookies in it, but, I mean, there's probably one that has, like, soft, softened Ritz crackers down the middle. All right, okay, so, so what else can you do? You can use it in a fried in a dredge for fried chicken. You could dredge it up. Oh, I think I'd like that. That that sounds good, right? You can add it to mashed potatoes. I think I would like that. I found this recipe that we'll link to. I don't I can't see the link because I printed out the agenda in a very dad sort of way. But there's a recipe on some probably on the Hidden Valley Ranch site for pull apart bacon bread made with a ranch dressing packet. That's gotta be what's on the floor there? No, this is pizza. Bobca, this is from this room. King. Arthur,
Molly 27:25
oh, that looks pretty good, but it looks really good. Yeah, okay, yeah, okay. It
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:29
takes a sweet thing and makes it savory, just like the savory. Jeremy, so you're always trying to get me to try, yeah?
Molly 27:35
Okay, you know, I expected ranch to be more interesting. And also, having only encountered ranch recently in, like, my own homemade dip, or on, like processed foods, like Doritos or whatever, yeah, just the regular old ranch. I don't know. I feel underwhelmed.
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:58
I would, I would certainly make this popcorn again. Oh yeah, the ranch dressing. I didn't like any more or less than I expected. It was just kind of what I expected. I
Molly 28:06
liked it less than I expected. I'm sorry. Oh, thanks.
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:09
But we got plenty of segments we do more than more than you might expect. We
Molly 28:13
do. In fact, listener Ken albala Is, is one of our segments today. We've got the school of Ken. Say, School
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:21
of Ken. Again, you evoke my name. This is response to the licorice episode.
Molly 28:27
Wait, are you channeling Ken?
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:28
Are you speaking, speaking as Ken? Okay, licorice started as medicine rather than I've never heard his voice, but I imagine it's very professorial and perhaps stentorian. Then
Molly 28:37
I think that you should, you know, throw, some I'll
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:41
throw some oomph behind it. Yeah, licorice started as medicine rather than candy. It's there in the medieval Arab and European pharmaceutical texts. Even goes into alcohol. Making it is very easy. You just chop the roots, boil it for hours, then reduce the liquid, pour it on a tray, and it is black, very hard, sweet and perfect. Nothing else is added. They still make it this way in Calabria. Do try the real stuff? It's on Amazon, amarilli. There's even a good English brand, Barclays, Ken, PS, heading to Osaka next week. I can almost taste the takoyaki. Oh, Ken, thanks. I'm planning to order the amarelli Calabrian licorice. Okay, I have it in my shopping cart. I will. We'll taste it on a future episode. I would love to do that. So that'll be like, it's like, Altoids style can So, so your dad would have appreciated it and and, like, claimed he invented it.
Molly 29:29
Okay, so we will return to the the school of Ken,
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:33
uh, probably every week, but the licorice school soon.
Molly 29:38
Okay, Matthew, we also have a spilled mail. Tell me about it.
This one comes from listener Asha. Hi, Matthew and Molly. I just finished listening to Episode 668, carob when Matthew asked if any listeners have listened to the podcast from a tree. Mouth,
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:02
yeah, no, no, I malt is one of my favorite flavors. You going malt? You anytime? In fact, Matthew, that's
Molly 30:08
our names combined. Oh, sorry, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:12
didn't realize I'm
Molly 30:14
here. Okay, okay, hold on, I'm back to back to listener, Asha. Matthew also asked the subject be in a tree, and it was, it was, I'm from Vancouver, BC, and I've been listening to the show since I was probably nine years old. I'm 13 now I can proudly say I have listened to your podcast in a tree. A couple of years ago, I would often go to the nearby park after school and draw in my sketchbook while sitting in a tree. Yeah, while I drew random doodles, I would listen to your podcast. When people would walk past the tree, I would freeze so they wouldn't see me drawing in a tree and think I was weird. This is one of the best memories of my childhood, and I'm glad your podcast could be a part of it. You guys are so cool coming from a teenager, and I love your show so much. Listener, Asha, sorry, I got a little bit No, no, I got a little worked up there. No, no, I get it. Oh my gosh. First number one, sitting in a tree. Drawing is never weird, and if nobody thinks you're weird for sitting in a tree, they're weird. Yes,
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:17
someone else did write in with the subject line in a tree to say that they were listening in a hammock that was in a tree. Oh, that counts. And I give that like half credit. Okay, fine, but no, but listener, Asha gets full credit. Gosh,
Molly 31:31
this is great. Oh my gosh.
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:33
What do you think a teenager gets out of listening to our show like where we mostly talk about what salad bars were like in the 80s.
Molly 31:42
I have no idea. But my my friend, Xavier, who is now in seventh grade.
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:46
You just make this friend just like hanging out, no friends
Molly 31:51
with his parents, John and Judy. But anyway, Xavier listened to the show for a long time, I think, more like when he was like 10 and 11. So like, what does a pre teen get out of the show? Like, I have no idea what
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:04
I think it is. It's that if you listen to this show, you can hear adults who are just as dumb as you and don't try and tell you to do anything. Oh, that kind of makes sense.
Molly 32:15
That's pretty good, okay, but it is an interesting question. Hey, listener, Asha, if you feel like writing to us again, I don't know. What do you what do you like about
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:24
us? Yeah, like, write it on a note. Like, our clothes. Yes, it's probably those things. Would
Molly 32:30
you be our friend? Yeah, Y or N, yeah. Look,
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:34
yeah, check this box. I'm I'm snacking.
Molly 32:38
Oh, what? What you snacking? Hey, watch
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:41
your snacking. You gotta tell me what you're snacking or I'll release the Kraken. So watch your snacking. I've been snacking on snack club, brand s n a K Club, hot one, Smokey, sweet snack mix, which I picked up at Chuck's hop shop in Seattle when I was there for cribbage club. It's really good. It is peanuts, pretzels, corn nuts, cashews and sesame sticks with, like, a fruity hot seasoning powder. Fruity hot
Molly 33:13
seasoning powder is, I mean, is it when, when I first read that I thought of like, like tahin, yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 33:19
kind of, kind of like that little more, little more like, kind of abanaro flavor to it, okay, but like, like a fruity chili sort of flavor, but not, not totally different from talking, certainly, okay, and I ate it all, and you can't have any,
Molly 33:32
wow, God. You probably also have a now, but wow, you'd be right
Matthew Amster-Burton 33:37
about that. I have a now, but wow, it's a book. It's a new book called chop fry watchler, what came out last year by Michelle T King, and I just started reading it. I had been waiting for it to come in at the library, and it's so good. It is a biography of someone I had never heard of, fu Pei Mei, who was an extremely influential Chinese and Taiwanese cooking teacher and cookbook writer, who was a fixture of TV cooking shows, especially in Taiwan and Japan, from like 1962 to 2002
Molly 34:05
that is a 40 year reference,
Matthew Amster-Burton 34:07
wow. And many of her books were translated into English, and she sometimes appeared on American TV, but she was never as well known here, compared to among, especially among non Chinese cooks, compared to like Martin Yan or Ken Ham or Joyce Chen. But if you were someone, if you were a Chinese American and wanted to learn to cook, like home cooking, the way your parents used to, she was the expert to turn to, and she wrote over 30 cookbooks. And basically, if you are a person who has any interest in Chinese food, I think you're gonna love this book. And if you're, if you're a listener of our show and have no interest in Chinese food, I'm
Molly 34:42
at least a little surprised. Tell us what you like about the show. Actually,
Matthew Amster-Burton 34:46
I learned just before we started recording that there's also a six part drama series on Netflix about the life of foo pay Mei called what she put on the table. And so I'm definitely gonna check that out, too. Oh,
Molly 34:58
that sounds fantastic. Yeah. So that's.
Matthew Amster-Burton 34:59
That's a chop fry. Watch learned by Michelle T King,
Molly 35:02
fantastic. Thanks, Matthew. All right. Well, our producer is Abby sercatella.
Matthew Amster-Burton 35:07
Molly has a newsletter called I've got a feeling that is available only@mollywisenberg.substack.com I read it. I subscribe. I
Molly 35:15
love it. Thanks, Matthew. You have music, and I actually get some early listens. That's true music and how can, how can our readers listen to it, our
Matthew Amster-Burton 35:24
readers listeners reading our show, the transcript of our show. This is true. I mean, how can our listeners read your music? Our listeners can dance of my music by searching for early to the airport on any streaming platform. I made the mistake of trying to predict when, when our next album would come out. And I don't know if it's out or not at the time you're listening to this, but we have some music out there already, and some more music coming soon. Probably fantastic.
Molly 35:51
You can chat with other spilled milk listeners at everything spilled milk.reddit.com. It is a lovely community,
Matthew Amster-Burton 35:58
and until next time I'm
Molly 36:03
Malthus and I'm Matthew, Great.
Matthew Amster-Burton 36:18
Why can't Why can't every team just win. Yeah, yeah, okay. Are you sounding good? You want more of anything?
Molly 36:26
I think I'm sounding Okay. Am I thank you. You sound good to me too.
Matthew Amster-Burton 36:30
Oh, yeah. I could probably take this apron off now, but
Molly 36:34
it makes you look so official. That's true.
Matthew Amster-Burton 36:38
Yeah, we should get we should get official. Oh, a little Junko right there. Hey buddy, we should get official show aprons. We should like. Why? Now, I can't believe we don't anniversary. I
Molly 36:48
can't believe we don't have that as one of our merch options. That's
Matthew Amster-Burton 36:51
true. Producer Abby, can we offer aprons?
Molly 36:54
Yeah. Could we offer aprons? Or could we pause and see if we can hear her answer? I wonder if we could do it as like a special offering in our 15th anniversary year, ooh, one
Matthew Amster-Burton 37:04
of our special offerings for like next year's pledge drive, okay? Or technically now this year's pledge drive this fall. Okay? Cool aprons. It is.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai